AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Then the tears prickled.The tears that she hadn’t shed in all these dark days.One spilt.She lifted her hand, angry.The stench of onions clung to her fingers.
‘Cally.’He grabbed her hand, stopping her from wiping away the tear.‘It’s okay to cry.’
It wasn’t.Because when Cally cried all she wanted was for someone to put their arms around her and comfort her.She hadn’t had someone to do that in years and years.And she didn’t want him to do it.She wouldn’t take comfort from Blake.The last thing she wanted from him was pity.She wanted his love.
She shook off his grip and thumped the knife back down on the board.‘I’m not crying, I’m chopping onions, and if you want tohelpyou can grab a knife and a board and get chopping too.’
He didn’t reply, just stood still and watched her for a moment as she massacred the onions.She said nothing, just kept up the onion decimation, just kept a hold on the emotion desperate to escape.
Then he sighed, picked up another knife and found a board, positioned it next to hers and took an onion.He lifted the knife with both hands, as if it were an axe, and struck the onion, splitting it into two uneven pieces.He nodded.‘I can see the attraction.’
And then the bangs on his board got louder and louder and quicker and quicker until finally he tossed the knife down with a clatter.
‘It’s not working.’He took her by the shoulders, hard, turned her to him.‘Talk to me, Cally.’
‘No.’
‘Yes.’
‘No!’He wouldn’t let go and she threw the reasons at him.‘I can’t give you what you want.I can’t give you what you need.’She drew in a breath of courage and told him the painful truth.‘I can’t give you what you’d love the most.’
He stared, looked shocked and then spoke—softly at first.‘But I want you.I need you.Youare what I love the most.’His voice started to rise.‘Do you hear me, Cally?Do you understand me?’His fingers tightened on her shoulders.‘It’syouthat I want.Just you.Only you.Always you.’
She shook her head, not believing him.‘You wanted our baby.’That was what he wanted.He wouldn’t have come after her if he hadn’t found out she was pregnant.It had just been a weekend fling, nothing more, not for him.
His face softened.‘I did.Of course I did.But I also want you.I want you more than anything.’He stopped talking, took a deep breath and started again—with slow, precise speech.‘After what happened with Paola, I decided alone was what I was meant to be.I couldn’t trust people after that.I had to do it all on my own.So I did.I worked, I made money, I played around and swore I’d never be vulnerable again.I decided I’d never have a family and then bought myself a house big enough for two.’One corner of his mouth turned up at the irony.Then, staring deep into her eyes, he became wholly serious again.
‘And then you came along.And even though I was such a jerk when you got pregnant and I didn’t believe you hadn’t meant to, you put your trust in me.You came to live with me, you trusted me enough to help with your business, to marry me, you let me in.’He stepped closer, his hands lifting from her shoulders to frame her face.‘Why would you do that?’His gaze intensified.‘If you have that much trust and faith in someone, if you give them everything like that, then—’ he snuck in a breath ‘—you must love them, right?Even just a little bit?’
He couldn’t hide the hope in his expression, or the uncertainty.She realised how vulnerable he was feeling this very moment.Realised just what it was he was asking and how much she wanted him to ask it.
‘Is that what it is, Cally?’he whispered.
Her eyes burned.‘I might not be able to give you that family, Blake.’
‘Our family is already made.It’s you and me.We’re more than a partnership, or some arrangement.We’re a team, we’re a family.Yes, I wanted a baby.I wantedourbaby and I am so, so sorry we lost it.But we can try again.And we’ll try and we’ll try and we’ll get all the help we need.And we’ll do it because if we’re together, we’re stronger and can face anything.And in the end if we can’t have a baby ourselves then we’ll foster or adopt or sponsor.You and I have so much to offer.And there are thousands of kids out there that we could help.’
The burn in her eyes was unbearable now, and still he talked right into her face, fast, frantically getting it out.
‘What matters most to me is you, Cally.You being with me.Where I can support you and you can support me.Because when we join forces we’re better than when we’re alone.You make me.Believe in us.Believe in me.Don’t shut me out.Let me in.Let’s do this together.’
His eyes were burning too, bright, right into hers and shining with hope and passion and pleas.
‘Tonight when I thought you’d gone…I nearly lost it.I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to be able to see it, to admit it.Please give me the chance.Learn to love me.’His frustration was palpable as he looked quickly round him as if something might appear to help him get through to her.‘God, what can I do…?How can I make you love me the way I love you?’
The fire in him thawed the ice packed deep around her heart and with the melt came the unbearable pain.Tears that hadn’t fallen for days and days rose so thick, so fast, so hot and blinding, and she could no longer contain them.
With sudden and unstoppable force she covered her face with her hands and wailed.‘Please mean it.Please.I couldn’t bear it if you don’t mean it!’
Bending in two, she collapsed forward, hurting too much to be able to stand.His arms banded around her and he eased her to the floor with him when her legs gave way.Uncontrollably the anguish escaped and he pressed her head against his broad chest, holding her tight, gently rocking as the sobs racked her body.
‘I mean it, darling.I do.I love you.’He muttered that and more while with his arms and body he gave the comfort and courage she ached for.‘Beautiful Cally, my beautiful Cally.I’m so sorry.I love you.’
She listened and felt and hurt and cried and held him as he held her.Until at last, for ever and a bit later, the convulsions eased and she was able to speak.
‘I wanted our baby.’Her arms had felt so empty.
‘So did I.’He put his head level with hers, his heart on the same plane.
