AllFreeNovel
Share Us
All our eyes are drawn to her arse like it’s a hypnotic pendulum as her hips sway and she marches away. Sweet Jesus. That girl will be the death of us…
CHAPTER 34
IVY
My stomach gurgles as I hear the delivery driver zip away on his bike. The smell of Chinese food wafts through the house, and I collapse on my lumpy mattress with a huff.
Frederick James is a wanker. A handsome, swoon-worthy, muscular wanker with unreasonably dreamy eyes! Why does he have to act like such an arsehole all the time? When we went shopping, I thought we’d made progress, but then he threatened to kill me again. He wasn’t lying, either. I could see a darkness stirring behind his eyes when he said it.
I slip into my old persona and reflect on some of my past bloody escapades to cheer me up, remembering how powerful taking their lives made me feel. Living as a killer agent was easier than trying to be my authentic self. It was more comfortable. Letting anger consume me dulled my pain and gave me a purpose.
Suddenly, a knock on my door brings me out of a vivid daydream where I was using Spencer’s balls as a dartboard. I already had a fun points system worked out. It’d be a good game.
“What?” I snap.
The door opens ajar. I expect to see Bram, or possibly Seb—when Freddie isn’t around, he hasn’t been acting like a total bellend.
“Oh,” I say flatly, seeing Freddie holding a plate out. “It’s you.”
“I brought you this,” he says gruffly.
“Leave it on the floor.” I lie down again without looking in his direction. He can go to hell. “I’ll pick it up later.”
He does as I ask. I expect him to leave straight away, but he lingers. His gaze makes my skin prickle.
“What?” I sit up when it becomes clear he isn’t going anywhere. “Come to gawp at your prisoner like I’m in a zoo?”
He steps inside fully and closes the door.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Ivy,” he says. “You came into our life and tricked us all. What did you expect would happen when we learned the truth, or didn’t you consider it because you thought we’d all be dead?”
“This has nothing to do with the Killers Club,” I say, jumping to my feet. The room is so small that we’re close enough for me to jab my finger into his chest to emphasise my words as I continue on my tirade. “You’re only angry because I’m not the woman you wanted me to be. I’m not the perfect angel you met at the bar. I was that girl once, but my life changed forever the night we met. Spencer made me watch as his friends raped and killed my sister, while he hurt me and said he’d rather I die than be with anyone else. He even found your number in the suit jacket you gave me! Back then, I couldn’t fight back. I won’t apologise for not being helpless anymore. I’m not looking for a strong man to save me, and I’m sorry that makes me such a fucking disappointment to you.”
“Ivy, I never…”
I grab his wrist as he reaches for me. Without thinking, I twist it into a position that means I could easily break it withanother motion. Now I’ve started, I can’t stop. Words flow out of me like an unstoppable tsunami, leaving destruction in its wake.
“The girl you wanted to fall in love with doesn’t exist,” I say. “You built me up in your head to be perfect. To be someone I’m not. Even if nothing happened that night five years ago, I’d never have lived up to your expectations. You’ve been living in a fantasy world, and you can’t keep punishing me for your own fucking delusions!”
Somehow, he twists out of my grasp. He moves quickly, grabbing me by the throat and slamming me back into the wall.
I laugh in his face.
“See?” I pant. “A few weeks ago, you’d never have done this. You make out like you’re so fucking perfect, spouting bullshit about how you’re a protector and all you want to do is save people, but you’re a monster. This is the real you, Freddie.”
His eyes burn into mine as his grip tightens on my throat, making me gasp for air. The amber in them blazes like an inferno that wants to destroy and burn me to the ground while the blue part seeks to drown me.
He speaks through gritted teeth, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He lets go, and I fall to my knees, clutching my neck.
“I lied to you,” I rasp, “but at least I’m not lying to myself. Maybe it’s time you looked in the mirror.”
Guilt is written all over his face, and the hard look in his eyes softens.
“I…” He begins, only he can’t even say the words or vocalise an apology.
Fucking coward.
