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JACK
That evening, the heat feels even more intense, if that’s possible. As I drive along the road that curls through the Downs, the evidence of the heatwave is everywhere, from the dusty verges and parched fields where sheep have gathered under trees, to the blast of hot air as I wind the window down.
It’s the hottest September day in years, and the temperature gauge in my car reads 36 degrees. By the time I reach the hospice, storm clouds are gathering on the horizon. Pulling up in the car park, as I get out, the first flash of lightning zigzags across the sky.
Like everyone else, I’m waiting for the weather to break. Going inside, almost immediately I see Tilly.
‘Roxie’s back again.’ Unusually for Tilly, she looks flustered. ‘Her sister’s with her. She’s not in a good way.’
A sense of urgency fills me. ‘I’ll be there in just a moment.’
As I walk to the nurses’ station, I’m uneasy. None of us expected her to be back here so soon. But I should know by now. In an already unpredictable world, cancer doesn’t follow a pattern. And when it comes to Roxie… I can’t see it any other way. She’s just too young.
Going to her room, I knock before pushing the door open. In the week since she’s been home, Roxie has lost weight, her frame dwarfed by the armchair she’s sitting in.
‘Hey, Jack. Come to watch the storm?’ Her voice is husky, her eyes wearing the familiar Roxie jaunty look. But even that’s become a shadow of what it used to be.
‘Can’t stay away, can you,’ I chastise her.
Roxie ignores me. ‘I love a storm. Open the windows, would you?’
Pulling the curtains back, I do as she asks. ‘Where’s your sister?’
‘Gossiping to the nurses.’ Leaning back, a peaceful expression settles on her face as she gazes at the sky.
‘I’ll be right back.’ I want to talk to Freya.
‘Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.’
As I step into the corridor, Freya’s walking towards me. Her face is drawn, her eyes red. She looks exhausted. ‘I’ve just seen Roxie,’ I say.
Freya nods. ‘She’s not too bad now. But honestly, earlier today, she was in so much pain. I didn’t know what to do. And then we had to wait ages for the ambulance.’
‘You’re here now.’ I can imagine how traumatic it must have been – for Roxie, but for Freya too, completely unable to help her sister.
‘Is this it, do you think?’ Freya’s face is ashen. ‘I keep thinking she can’t go on like this.’
‘I know what you mean.’ I’m silent for a moment. ‘A doctor will come and see you shortly. Ask them any questions you have.’ I pause. ‘She’s in the best place.’
As Freya nods, her eyes fill with tears.
‘Roxie knows,’ I say gently. ‘She’s known for a long time. Where’s Paul?’
‘He’s on his way. I left him trying to get his shit together.’ Freya wipes her face.
The lights flicker as thunder cracks overhead. Freya glances at me. ‘Roxie’s going to love this.’
As I go to check on other patients, the rain starts, lashing against the glass, the sound of it broken every so often by thunder. When I go back to Roxie’s room, the windows are still wide open, rain cascading in and onto the floor.
Thankfully, Paul has made it. ‘Didn’t think I was going to get here.’ Sitting next to Roxie, he’s holding her hand.
Glancing at her, I notice her eyes are closed. But as I go to shut the windows, she opens her eyes. ‘Jack? Can you leave them?’
‘If that’s what you want.’ Going to the bathroom, I pick up some towels to mop up the rain.
Roxie watches me. ‘It would be a fucking awesome way to go,’ she says quietly. ‘With all this going on.’
‘I guess.’ I crouch down next to her. ‘Are you warm enough?’
