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He’s engrossed in something on his laptop, and doesn’t look up until I reach the doorway. I fold my arms across my body – I’m trembling, and it has nothing to do with the icy night temperature out here.
‘What’s the matter?’ Max asks. ‘Is Poppy okay?’
I haven’t planned what I’ll say; the words fall out, tumbling into the night. ‘It was Sarah.’ This voice I can hear doesn’t sound like my own.
‘What?’
‘Sarah killed Alice Hughes. And all this time I thought?—’
Max pushes his chair back. ‘Why are you saying this?’
‘I know, Max. I know everything.’
He stares at me. Seconds feel like hours. ‘How?’
‘Poppy’s camera recorded you and Sarah talking at the park. I heard all of it.’
I’ve never seen Max’s tanned skin turn so pale – not even after his attack. ‘I didn’t know,’ he says. ‘I promise I didn’t knowuntil today. And I’ve been trying to work out what to do. I just don’t know. It’s my fault Sarah even knew Alice. I brought her into all our lives. I started this. What are we supposed to do?’
As distressed as he seems, Max has had hours to think about this, while I’ve only had minutes. ‘I don’t know. She…she killed someone.’
‘She panicked. She was about to lose everything.’
Like Taylor has.Andit was never him.‘You can’t accidentally strangle someone,’ I say, pushing away thoughts of Taylor.
Max stands up. ‘I know. You’re right. Sarah was trying to stop her going to the police. She…she…I don’t know!’
My legs weaken, and I sit down on the chair in the corner. ‘And all these weeks Sarah didn’t say a word. She talked about Alice. Letmetalk about her. And she acted so normally.’
‘Self-preservation,’ Max says. ‘She had to block it out for her own sanity. It doesn’t mean she was cold and calculating. This is Sarah we’re talking about. Our minds do what they can to protect us.’
‘Why are you defending her? Didn’t you have any feelings for Alice? You must have. You can’t spend that much time with someone and not care about them.’
He sits down again, his head flopping back against the headrest. ‘I don’t know how I felt about Alice. It was all too complicated.’
‘She’s dead. And Sarah killed her. That’s all that matters.’
‘I think we all just need to take some time to work this out,’ Max says.
‘We don’t need to work out going to the police when we know a crime’s been committed. Not just any crime. The worst type.’
‘I know. You’re right. But we need to give Sarah time.’
‘How long?’ I ask. ‘A day? A week? A year? How long is enough time for her?’
Max shakes his head. ‘I don’t know.’
I stand up. With clarity, I see what I have to do.
‘Where are you going?’ Max asks.
But I don’t answer, because if I don’t do this now, then perhaps I never will.
The walls of this building have been repainted since I was last here. A lifetime ago. I should feel nervous. Frightened. But I feel neither of these emotions.
He opens the door and gapes at me, as if I’m an apparition, and he can’t quite believe I’m standing here. I want him to say something, but he doesn’t – he only studies me, frozen where he is.
‘Hello, Taylor,’ I say. One of us has to be the first to say something.
