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‘Then I wouldn’t be able to come with you. To support you.’
‘I don’t need you to. I’m doing this alone. This is about me and Max. And Alice, of course, but…all I know is I have to do this by myself.’
Poppy runs back to us. ‘Mummy, can we sit down for a bit? My legs aresotired.’
‘How about over there?’ Taylor suggests, pointing to a grassy area with benches in the centre of Leicester Square.
We all sit, but it’s only a matter of minutes before Poppy runs off to play with a girl around her age. And while we watch her, Taylor and I talk about everything except what’s happening. I’ve already told him that I’ll be going to the police straight after this,and perhaps he’s as relieved as I am that soon this will all be over.
‘I hope we’ll stay in touch after this,’ he says. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I do think of you as a friend.’ He laughs. ‘Still don’t trust you, though. But I’m working on that.’
And while I want to have Taylor in my life, it’s hard to see how we’ll ever be around each other without remembering all of this. Alice. Max. It’s all woven into the tapestry of our connection, whatever that is. ‘Who knows what the future holds?’ I say.
Poppy runs back to us. ‘Can I have a snack, Mummy? I’m really hungry.’
Taylor points to the other side of the grass. ‘See that café over there? They have ice cream. If your mum says it’s okay, that is.’
Poppy’s eyes widen. ‘Can I, Mummy?Please?’
I’m not about to deny my daughter ice cream when she’s been through so much because of me. Because of Max. ‘As long as you eat dinner later.’
‘I promise!’ she says.
By the time we get there a long queue has formed inside the café. ‘I’ll wait here and get it,’ Taylor offers. ‘No point all of us standing in line.’
‘Chocolate and vanilla, please,’ Poppy says.
‘Coming right up.’
Poppy and I head towards a nearby bench. Before we reach it, a hand grabs my arm, and I spin around, my heart almost stopping.
But it’s only Paula.
‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘Didn’t mean to shock you.’ She looks at Poppy. ‘Hello. I don’t think I’ve seen you since you were a baby. You must be Poppy.’
‘And I’m five,’ Poppy says proudly.
‘I know. And I’m Paula. I work with your Daddy. But I won’t tell you how oldIam.’ She laughs, and I realise I’ve never seen Paula looking anything other than stern.
The smile vanishes from Poppy’s face. ‘My daddy’s gone away. I miss him.’
Paula looks at me.
‘Poppy, why don’t you save that bench right there for us while I talk to Paula for a second? You can do some colouring for a minute.’
Paula and I watch as Poppy settles herself on the bench and pulls her colouring pad from her small backpack. ‘I’m glad you’ve left him,’ she says. ‘But where is he? He said he wanted to come into work and he never showed up. That’s not like Max.’
‘I don’t know where he is,’ I say. ‘Probably avoiding me.’
Paula glances at Poppy. ‘And his daughter? That’s not like Max. Everyone knows how much she means to him.’
‘Maybe he feels ashamed?’
‘Yeah. Good. He should have thought about that when he…Anyway, it’s funny bumping into you here. What are you two up to?’
It’s strange that Paula’s being so friendly. What Max did must have really affected her, and it’s only now she’s free of him that she can relax.
‘We’re just out with a friend,’ I explain. ‘He’s over there getting ice cream and coffee.’ I point to the café, where I can see Taylor hasn’t moved much closer to the counter.
