AllFreeNovel
Share Us
After what feels like forever, the almost violent spasms start to subside and I can breathe without gagging. Still, I don’t feel confident enough to stand. Not yet. I flush but stay in place, leaning over the bowl just in case.
If there’s one thing worse than throwing up, it’s throwing up with an audience. “Shit. What do you think it is?” That’s Ash, and he’s standing way too close to the bathroom door for my comfort. How would he like it if I hung around while he was throwing up?
“How the hell should I know?” Ryder whispers. “Do I look like a doctor?”
“She’s obviously sick. Did she say anything to you about being sick?” Soren asks.
“No. She didn’t say anything to me,” Ash insists.
“If I knew something, don’t you think I would tell you?” Ryder mutters.
“Genius.” Ash snickers. “Did it occur to you that maybe this is what she wanted to tell us? Like, maybe this is the big deal.”
I feel bad. I should set them straight, since they sound a little more worried with every word they exchange. But every time I take a gulp of air, prepared to calm them down, a wave of nausea steals my voice. I can’t possibly have anything more to throw up, can I? I’m pretty sure I threw up a kidney just now.
“Oh, hell. That makes sense.” Ryder mutters a few choice words. “How am I supposed to leave with this going on back here? I’ll have to quit. I’m not leaving her when she’s sick.”
“Stop jumping to conclusions,” Soren tells him. “Just because she’s nauseated doesn’t mean she’s dying.”
This is almost funny. Listening to the three of them talk in circles, freaking themselves and each other out. I love them, but they have a habit of feeding off each other’s energy until I don’t know whether I want to laugh or bang their heads together to get through to them.
“But what if she is?” Ash whispers. He’s standing closest to the door, so I hear him clearly. “You know? What if she didn’t want Ryder to go without saying something?”
“You know what? She did ask me one more time to stay. If there were any way I could make it happen, that kind of thing.”
“Oh, hell.” Now Soren is starting to sound genuinely worried. “But let’s be fair. She doesn’t want you to go. That’s not any big secret.”
“It was more the way it sounded like a last-ditch effort.”
“What if she has cancer?” Ash murmurs.
“What?” Ryder whispers. “Don’t even say that.”
“I’m just saying. What if it is? She is different lately. I’ve been worried about something like this.”
“What kind of cancer makes somebody throw up?” Ryder wants to know.
“I don’t know. Stomach, maybe?”
Alright. I feel like it’s time to put an end to this before they have me admitted to an oncology unit. “Oh, my God,” I groan, lifting my head and looking over my shoulder into their worried faces. “It’s not cancer. I’m pregnant, you idiots.”
29
ASH
Certain moments, you remember for the rest of your life. Where you were standing, what you were doing. What you were eating, wearing, thinking. Feeling.
I’m nobody’s idea of an old man, but I have plenty of those moments stuck in my memory. The first time I ever scored a goal when I was eight years old. The exhilaration, the cheers from the fans – parents, mostly. A single moment set me up for a lifetime of chasing that thrill again. Hearing those cheers and knowing they were for me. I was the reason everybody jumped to their feet and screamed their heads off.
And there’s more, so many more. Making varsity. Winning the state championship in high school. Getting signed to the Raptors. Hell, even finding out I was getting sent up to Seattle with a two-way contract – it didn’t matter that the arrangement wasn’t permanent. It was another goal knocked down.
Then there’s the personal moments. When I got home from school one day, and my parents sat me down to tell me my grandfather died. When a friend of mine in middle school gotsick, really sick, the kind of sickness that makes you miss the rest of the school year and gets your classmates wondering if the same thing could happen to them.
The moment I first set eyes on Harlow. There she was, throwing her arms overhead on the dance floor. It didn’t matter that she was by herself. It didn’t matter if people were watching. She was in the moment, totally free. I think that’s what grabbed my attention and held it. She was so refreshing. Hot, yes, but real. I had no idea the rest of my life would hinge on that moment. I could never have guessed it would lead me here.
Here in this new moment I’ll never forget. I’m wearing a gray T-shirt and loose fitting black shorts. I jammed my feet into a pair of trainers without putting on socks first. Ryder’s bathroom smells like some fake apple scented air freshener shit— and puke. There is a definite puke aroma hanging in the air as Harlow fights her way to her feet after throwing up a little more and flushing the toilet.
I’m here, but I’m not here. Like part of my brain completely shut down on hearing those words. Maybe I imagined them. Or it was something my brain made up to ease my fear over her maybe being sick.
