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She lets out a broken sound as she catches on to my meaning.
I turn my head away. "Leave me."
Sobbing, she does so.
My heart doesn't soften at her cries. It's a cold broken stone inside me. Maybe to others, this might be an insignificant matter, but all my life I have struggled for control of my life or my decisions. I was a puppet for as long as I could remember, afraid to trust, afraid to love, bound by shackles. I risked everything for my freedom. I fought to control my life, and for four years, I thought everything I had was through my hard work because of my refusal to give up. To learn that even after my freedom, everything down to where I worked, and what I ate was all carefully manipulated by someone else. The knowledge that the people I had ultimately opened my heart to and given my trust had been working with that person all this time has been a blow I can't seem to recover from.
I have no sympathy for Maya.
She manipulated me.
Had she or Tony told me even once that Adam was behind all this or given me the opportunity to take Riya and go somewhere far away, I would have forgiven their role in everything. But they handed over my daughter to Adam. They kept tabs on me forhim. They were instrumental in this game of manipulation, and I despise them for it.
I don't know where I am.
My wolf is more alert now but no less miserable.
I fade in and out of consciousness, and I try to remain asleep. Sleeping is a safe escape for me. I can feel there is something wrong with me, but it's like all the strength has left me. I have a child who needs me, even when I think Riya will be better off with Adam, but I can't get rid of this lifelessness within me. It's as if there was a flame burning inside me and it's completely extinguished.
I catch Adam's scent around me, but I never see him. Wherever I am, when I wake up, I am alone. There are tubes attached to me, and I just don't bother with them, letting myself slip away again.
Time is passing in a blurry state.
It's the warm energy that has me stirring again, and this time, the person standing above me has me blinking.
"L-Lydia," I say weakly.
Healer Lydia smiles at me. "Cynthia. I'm glad to see you awake."
"When did you get here?"
"I've been here for two weeks now, trying to hold you to us."
She pulls up a chair and sits down beside me, her hand on mine. I can feel the healing energy pouring through where our skin is touching.
"Holding me to you?" I ask.
Lydia sighs. "You don't know what's going on, do you?"
"I want to sleep a lot."
"That's because your wolf is fading. Your animal can only fade away if you face something so emotionally jarring that your connection begins to break."
I let out a sigh. "He betrayed me. Everyone did."
"No, they didn't." Lydia squeezes my hands, her eyes angry. "But they were all fools. Adam thought he knew what was best for you. He should have taken you in confidence when things began to go south for him. He should have told you that he gave you the mating mark a long time ago. Instead, neither of you trusted each other, and this is the result of that."
"I didn't do anything."
"No, you didn't," Lydia agrees. "But you also didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. You didn't trust him, and you had good reason not to, given everything that you have suffered. He didn't trust you because the blood debt was still tying you to his father."
"If you are here to defend Adam…" I begin, the tiredness within me shifting to make room for anger.
"I'm not," Lydia says, kindly now. "I'm not defending Adam at all. I am equally unhappy with him and how all of this happened." Her hand tightens around mine as she meets my gaze. "You are a strong woman, Cynthia. You have suffered and persevered. You have fought against all odds, and you have been a good mother. I hope you know that. And Adam can never take that away from you. Having a good job or owning an apartment doesn't make you successful. You survived after everything yousuffered. You refused to give up, and you raised a child, making sure she never faced what you did. That is defined as success. Anybody can live in a home and have a job, Cynthia. But not everyone can overcome what you did. You were a good mother to Riya, who is beautiful, by the way. And she's doing well. She thinks you've gone on a small trip and is waiting for you. Adam and your friends have protected her from the truth."
"That I abandoned her?" I ask miserably.
"No," Lydia insists. "That everything you've been through accumulated until your wolf collapsed inside you. That you're still here with us is a testament to the fact that you've not stopped fighting. Some part of you is still determined to claw its way back. Cynthia, our animals are strong, but even they can receive an emotional shock that cripples them."
