Page 19 of Fool's Desire


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Desi pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, tapping the toe of her high heeled shoes while she waited sceptically for him to elaborate.

"A few years ago, a few friends and I got together to buy Club Risqué." He rushed on with, "The club I want to take you to is up for sale, and we are considering putting an offer in, but first, I wanted to go in as a patron and get a proper feel for it, not just the sales pitch features—the real McCoy. You know, see how well it's running, what the staff is like, the clientele. Find out how busy it is, if there are any major problems we need to know about. Stuff they're not going to tell you in the brochure." Jake realised he was rambling a bit and stopped abruptly, allowing his spine to ease.

"Who's we?" Desi asked, and Jake looked a little taken aback. Clearly, that was not the response he expected.

"There are four of us," he hedged. They had an unspoken agreement not to mention Joel. "You know us all."

Desi just waited with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, there's me, Connor Griffin, Joel, and Logan Thornton." Jake skated over Joel's name, hoping she wouldn't dwell on it.

"I see." Desi wasn't giving anything away. "So you want us to what? Pose as a couple?"

Jake shoulders relaxed infinitesimally when she didn't continue to reject the idea out of hand, but asked questions instead. Surely, that was a positive sign. "I don't know how much they're into high protocol, but I could find you a collar if it would make you feel more secure."

Desi was well aware that going to a BDSM club without a collar was tantamount to sticking a sign over your head saying 'I'm free, come and try me'. She was also aware that the sub held all the power, that the agreement to play and how far things went was solely down to the submissive, but if she was going to consider going, then she could still do without the hassle.

She would have preferred to wear her own collar and provide her own protection rather than allude that she belonged to anyone, even Jake. But the only collar she owned was the one that Joel had given her, and there was no way she was ever going to wear that again. She wasn't sure why she even still had it; she just hadn't been able to bring herself to throw it away all those years ago, so she had packed it up and hauled it around with her, but she'd never even looked at it since.

Not that she'd actually agreed to go yet, of course. That would take a little more thought.

The silence stretched between them.

"I don't know, Jake," she finally told him. "I guess I need to think about it."

Jake sighed and took her hand, lacing their fingers together. "If you think about it too long, you'll talk yourself out of it," he said earnestly. "That's why I didn't bring it up until now."

"I'm not into that lifestyle anymore." She tried to make him understand. "I never really was, it was just something I did with Joel, and that part of my life is well and truly over."

"Seriously?" Jake viewed her with genuine surprise.

"What?" Desi defended pursing her lips. "It's true! For the last few years, I've considered myself completely asexual. I have no desire to have sex, and I'm not really interested in men."

Well, if you didn't take into account Joel and the desperate lust she'd felt for him over the past few weeks, but that was just a recent thing. The rest was true enough.

"Jesus!" Jake exclaimed in shock, tipping her chin up so he could see her face. "When was the last time you had sex?" he blurted.

"That's not really any of your business." she said primly, pulling uncomfortably from his grasp. "But if you must know, it was over four years ago, and it consisted of one single night that was a complete disaster."

Desi hunched her shoulders against the discomfort she felt from talking about all this so candidly and continued, trying to get Jake to understand why it really wasn't the best idea for her to visit a sex club.

"In fact, in the last eleven years, there have been a grand total of two men. And even they only added up to a grand total of two nights and two huge mistakes! They weren't even really about sex, just loneliness and the desperate need to feel…something."

"You're telling me you've only had sex twice in eleven years?" Jake repeated incredulously, fisting his hands in the hair at his crown. If it hadn't been so damn sad, Desi would have burst out laughing at the look of horror on his face.

"That's right!" she said belligerently. "Two times that were so awful, they should never have happened. They were awkward and unsatisfying, and I didn't get a single orgasm out of either experience."

Jake just stood there speechless, his mouth hanging open. Desi pressed a finger to his chin to close it.

"So you see why I'm not the best person to accompany you on this particular excursion."

Jake recovered himself and settled his hands lightly on her shoulders. "On the contrary, it's all the more reason for you to come…no pun intended!" Jake sniggered at his own joke, breaking the awkward moment, while Desi just rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, Desi, have you ever considered that the problem with those encounters was that there wasn't any kink involved?"

Desi opened her mouth, then closed it again in consternation when no words came out.

Jake ploughed on, "I'm not kidding, Desi. Forget Joel, you are a classic submissive. I can tell you that without a shadow of a doubt, just from my own experience."

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