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Sebastian stiffened, the ring pausing in its rotation. “It’s not about me being a grump, Matty. It’s about me not being good enough for you.”
“You don’t get to decide that.” Getting up, I shoved my arms into my dressing gown. I hadn’t minded being naked in front of him earlier, but with him trying to reject me again, I needed another layer of protection. “You told me once that I deserved everything.”
“And I’m not everything,” Sebastian said hoarsely as I stalked towards the bathroom. “Matty, I can’t be with you.”
I spun on my heel, storming over until I was in front of him. “Says who?”
“Me,” Sebastian said helplessly, trying not to look at me. “And Leo. Ferry, Harlow, Dimitri, River… None of them want me to be with you.”
“And?” I demanded. “Who cares what they think?”
Sebastian shifted uncomfortably on the bed, twisting his ring with his fingers again. That’s when it hit me.
Sebastian. Sebastian cared.
For all his protests otherwise, for all his conviction that the others couldn’t stand him, he cared what they thought of him.
My anger deflated like a balloon popping.
Gently pulling his hands apart, I knelt between his spread thighs. Tangling our fingers together, I rubbed my thumb over the smooth gold of the ring he’d been playing with. “Sebastian, look at me.”
It took him a minute, but eventually his eyes met mine.
“Why don’t you make more of an effort with the others? You could be part of their group too.”
Sebastian snorted. “Why would I want to be friends with them? I don’t need friends. I don’t need anyone.”
I smiled sadly. “Everyone needs someone, Seb. You can try and tell yourself that that’s not the case, but it is.”
“They don’t like me,” he said, stubbornly ignoring what I’d said. “And I don’t care what they think about me.”
“That’s not true. You do care. If you didn’t then they wouldn’t even be part of this conversation. You wouldn’t be listing them as a reason why we can’t be together.”
Sebastian’s lips tightened. “You’re wrong.”
I sighed, squeezing his hands once more before getting to my feet. “No, Seb, I’m not. You’re scared. Scared of letting anyone in, because you think you’re going to get hurt. I think you’ve been pushing people away for so long that you don’t know how to do anything else.”
“You don’t know anything about me.”
Okay. That one hurt.
“That’s only true because you won’t let me in,” I said simply. “That’s how I know I’m right, Seb. You say you can’t have anything with me, but you also can’t walk away. You say we can’t be together, but you keep coming around. I’m tired of waiting for you to accept the inevitable, Sebastian. This thing between us? It’s happening.”
He didn’t say anything, just stared at the ring on his finger. I continued, driving my point home. “I’m not giving up on you. I’m going to keep pushing until you realise you need me. That you need people in your life. Even if that turns out to only be one person, I’m going to make fudging sure that person is me.”
Bending down, I kissed the top of his head. “I think it’s been a long time since anyone has fought for you rather than against you. I’m going to do that, Seb, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
Chapter 23
Sebastian
Sunshine
Seb, come quick! I need help!
Iblinked at the message. It was the second I’d received in as many days, not counting the first one that had started me on this slippery slope.
After his declaration that he wasn’t going to give up on me, I’d done the smart thing and put some space between us, but I hadn’t gone further than a nearby roof. I’d spent hours ricocheting between being furious at myself for fucking Matty, to almost weeping at how he’d responded to me.
