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My hand twisted in his curls, turning his face so I could attack him with all the desperate need I felt. He whimpered, his tongue meeting mine like he too knew something was changing.
I held nothing back. The turmoil of emotions I was trying to hide from him leaked into this kiss. All the fear. The desperate need. I selfishly drank him down, like maybe this would give me some of his sunshine. A part of him to take with me. To keep me warm in nights to come.
I knew I was kidding myself though. I could touch him all I wanted, kiss him as much as I needed, but it wouldn’t help me in the long run.
Nothing would.
Matty broke the kiss, colour high on his cheeks. “My turn.”
I leaned back against the sofa, not taking my eyes off Matty as he began to move. His lithe body lifted up and down gracefully, his teeth sinking into his lower lip. That blush I loved so much covered most of his body now, his chest rising and falling as he rode me.
“You’re so perfect,” I murmured, touching him wherever I could reach. “I never allow myself to dream, but if I did, I know I’d dream of you.”
Matty’s rhythm faltered, his eyes flying wide. “You would?”
I could give him this slice of honesty. The last thing I wanted was to walk away and for Matty to think it was on him. “Of course, sunshine. You’re everything I never knew I needed, let alone wanted. From the second I saw your smile, I was hooked.”
Matty had slowed to a stop, his watery gaze meeting mine. “Say more nice things.”
“Little did I know that your smile was just the beginning,” I continued, brushing my fingers over the lips in question. “I mean, it is spectacular, but even that pales in comparison to your personality. I’ve met a lot of people over the centuries, but nobody comes close to your kindness. Even the most powerful of angels would fall short if they were asked to measure up to you. And that’s before we even begin to talk about your cheeky side. The one you bring out to get your way.”
He flushed, looking up at me from under his lashes. “I do not.”
I barked a laugh. “Sunshine, do I need to remind you about the messages this week?”
“You were avoiding me,” he said baldly, his chin lifting. “I’d do a lot worse to get your attention.”
A chill went down my spine.
A few days with me and I was already corrupting Matty. It was a stark reminder of why I was doing this. Suddenly I was struggling to breathe. It was like someone had filled my lungs with glass that was shredding me from the inside out with every inhale.
I’d always believed I’d lived through the worst pain imaginable the day my family died.
Something told me that walking away from Matty would break me in ways I hadn’t known were possible.
“Enough talking,” I murmured, grabbing Matty by the back of his neck until his chest was against mine. “I’m going to fuck you until you can’t remember my name.”
There was a twinge of truth to that. The secret hope that one day, for Matty, this would be nothing more than a distant memory. A fun time with an intense guy that he would look back on with a fond smile.
Our heads rested together, eyes locked as Matty rode me. I kept a hand on his neck, holding him in place. I needed to breathe him in. Needed him more than I needed air.
Sweat was rolling down his temple as he moaned. I bucked up into him, both of us chasing that high.
“Sebastian.” Matty drew my name out over several breaths, punctuating each syllable with a roll of his hips. “I need it.”
My hand touched his cock, but he knocked it away impatiently. “No. I need your bite. Use me. Feed from me.”
My chest constricted to the point of pain. “Sunshine…”
He grabbed my chin, and I hated what I saw on his face. Desperation. Longing.
I didn’t make him ask again. My fangs descended, instinctively finding that sweet spot just under his jaw.
Matty shuddered as I pierced his skin. I closed my eyes, trying to prepare my defences for the onslaught that was about to hit them. It wasn’t enough. Nothing could stop the overwhelming sensations that came alongside the flavour of Matty’s blood.
Need.
Certainty.
