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He was right about cleaning it up—there wasn’t a drop of blood to be seen. “I’m guessing you’re better at dealing with blood than I am.”
A small chuckle broke from him. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
He was still chuckling as he helped me into a sitting position. I had to twist my lower body so he couldn’t see the effect the sound of his happiness was having on me.
If he ever let out a full laugh in my presence, I might come on the spot.
“Can’t believe you faint at the mere sight of blood,” he said, like it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
“It’s not that unusual,” I protested. “And like I said earlier, you were distracting me.”
I was sitting on the sofa, Sebastian kneeling before me, and the tension from before was back, eating away at the space between us until there were only two inches of air between our lips.
But, just like before, Sebastian bottled it at the last moment. He was on his feet, striding away and pouring himself a shot from a bottle of spirits Ferry kept here. I had no idea what the clear liquid was, but he’d made it obvious it was too strong for me.
That was fine. I preferred my drinks light and fruity. With enough alcohol to blur the edges, but not enough to make me lose control.
Sebastian had no such compunctions. He sank two shots in a row before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He didn’t look at me as he spoke. “I told you, we can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
He set the glass down. “I’m no good for you.”
“Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?”
“No.”
Irritation bubbled in me. I hadn’t even been aware I had a temper, but apparently Sebastian was bringing it out of me. “If you don’t want me, just say that, Sebastian.”
He took a step closer, like he was moving on instinct, before stopping himself. “It’s not that simple, Matty. I can’t…I can’t do that with you. I’m sorry.”
Embarrassment flooded me at the sight of Sebastian literally cringing at the thought.
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have said anything.” I stood up stiffly, my cheeks flaming. I’d misread this situation completely. No wonder I couldn’t keep a boyfriend. What in the heck had I been thinking, throwing myself at Sebastian like that? “If you don’t want me, that’s fine.”
“Matty—” His voice cracked as he lifted a hand towards me.
“I think it’s best if you go.” I gave him a brittle smile. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
I twisted on my heel and scurried from the room. I fled to my bedroom, giving Sebastian the space to leave without any more awkwardness. I leaned on my dressing table, letting my head hang forward as I braced my weight on my hands.
How could I have been so stupid? Of course Sebastian doesn’t want me like that.
I held my breath as I waited for the front door to open and close, but when the sound of a door closing came, it was closer than it should’ve been.
“I warned you, Matty. I told you I can’t say no to you.”
I didn’t lift my head, scarcely daring to believe he was here. “You had no issue saying it out there just now.”
His hand grabbed my chin from behind, forcing me to meet Sebastian’s gaze in the mirror. His eyes were glittering, his jaw tight. “I didn’t say ‘no’ to you. I said we can’t. Those are two very different things.”
“Then why are you here?” My knees were threatening to buckle under the intensity of Sebastian’s stare, but I refused to back down. “Why haven’t you left?”
“Because I can’t,” he whispered. “We shouldn’t do this…but I can’t say no to you.”
“Then don’t.”
Chapter 9
