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That’s a lie, my inner voice taunted me.
Okay, I knew the reason. But I didn’t fucking understand it.
And it was driving me to do strange things.
Like stalk a party from a distance. A party I likely could’ve scored an invite to if I’d just reached out to my cousin, Toby. He was a solid part of their little crew. Unlike me, Toby enjoyed being around others. Love and happiness were things that came easily to him.
They were things the old version of me had yearned for, but he didn’t exist anymore. He’d died centuries ago, along with my family.
Toby, however, willingly sought out the company of others—including humans. First as a doctor, and now as a manager in a bar. For heaven’s sake, it wasn’t even like he was doing so to have easy access for feedings. Like most vampires these days, Toby used a blood bank.
Ridiculous behaviour. Humans were literally food for us.
My inner voice decided to prick at me a bit more. So why have you stopped feeding from them and started using a blood bank too?
It’s more convenient, I told myself. Yes, that was why. It wasn’t because the few times I’d tried recently, I’d not been able to bring myself to pierce the skin of the humans I’d acquired.
I hadn’t seen humans as anything other than a source of sustenance for a very long time. They were fickle and troublesome. And god, they made the most terrible racket when killed.
Why couldn’t they do the considerate thing and die with a little decorum?
Mori and River returned a couple of hours later, exchanging kisses as they walked. Revolting.
Not long after, the door swung open again, but once more I was disappointed. River’s twin, Blaise, slunk out into the night. His hands were deep in his pockets, his head hanging low.
I counted in my head. One. Two. Three.
My cousin slipped from the house. A smug smirk tilted my lips as I watched him stalk the mage through the night. No one seemed to know what was going on between Blaise and Toby, least of all them. Whatever it was seemed to induce epic levels of pining and angst.
I looked away in disinterest. Their melodrama wasn’t the reason I was here either.
Finally, after what felt far too long given I was immortal, the reason for my strange behaviour stepped through the door and into the night.
I leaned forward, wishing I was close enough to smell the lemon and mint that seemed to envelop him. It was too risky though. This was close enough to get what I needed.
“Come on,” I urged in a whisper, my hands gripping the tiles. “Give me what I want, sunshine.”
Like he’d heard me—impossible given his human ears—Matty lifted his head.
I held my breath, waiting.
And then it happened.
The smile bloomed as fresh as morning dew on a meadow. He didn’t just smile with his lips, but his whole face. His eyes, cheeks, brows, they all arranged themselves with perfectly fluid artistry. It was as though he was drawing on the purity in his soul, gifting those in his vicinity with more grace than they’d had before.
Then someone spoke, turning his face away from me.
I exhaled shakily, falling back on the roof. My heart was hammering in my chest, the way it had every time I’d seen Matty smile.
I didn’t understand it. I didn’t like it.
But apparently I needed it.
The first time I’d met Matty, I’d dismissed him as an insignificant, albeit very pretty, human. A combination of golden curls, deep brown eyes, and a smattering of freckles that might have piqued my interest once upon a time. My attention had flicked over him with as much emphasis it would an ant.
But then he’d smiled…and all was lost.
I couldn’t get enough of it. After centuries of feeling nothing, Matty’s smile made me feel too much.
