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Waking the next day, I head out to the kitchen. Tank is already up cooking bacon, shirtless, and as I proceed to drool, he grins. “Morning, love, how are you feeling?”
“Better, now my two favourite things are in the kitchen.”
“Ah yeah, and what are they?” he grins at me
“You and bacon.” I grin at him. “Definitely in that order!”
Smiling, he pulls me against him for a knee-trembling kiss before turning me and slapping my ass and pushing me to the table. “Eat, then we need to contact Ray, okay?”
I nod. What else can I do? This man never asks me for anything, and I'm the only one able to contact her, but she trusted me to only contact her in an emergency, but there is another way. I don't want to use the phone she left me. I don't want it to be known that it's that easy. So, I'm going to use the “retro route”, as she called it.
After breakfast, we head into Ravenswood. There's a free ads in the local paper, so we go to their offices, and I fill out the little card to place my ad. Tank reads it before I hand it to the clerk.
“This is why you've been having the free ads delivered to the club?”
I nod.
“This makes no sense!”
“It will… to her!” I pull him in for a hug. “And now we wait.”
“You sure?”
“I'm sure. The free ads will be printed tomorrow and distributed the following day, so it could be a couple of weeks before we hear anything. It depends on when she reads it, so we need to check every one from now on to make sure it's right and wait for the reply.”
“What if it was an emergency? This doesn't seem a very productive way to get in touch when it's life or death.”
I look away from my husband. I won't lie to him if he asks, but there's some information that's not mine to share.
He nods. “She left you a better way, but you didn't want to burn the bridge when it wasn't life of death?”
I grin up at him. Fuck, I love him so much. I pull him in for a kiss, my bump that’s no longer hidden pushing against us. “Wow!”
“Ow!”
Tank rests his hands on my stomach. “Bean, take it easy on your momma.” He chuckles as we both take a kick to the ribs. I rub my stomach and receive another one for good measure. He laughs out the sexiest laugh, and my heart melts for this man. He's truly gonna love this little one to the moon and back.
“I want to name him after her,” I mutter.
A quick flash of hurt flicks to his face before he turns his features neutral. “That's a lovely idea, love.”
“I also want to honour your family tradition.” He gives me a puzzled look. “Tray?” I smile at him, “I was thinking we could call him Tray?” I chew at my lip. We've not really spoken about names, so for me to just hit him with this, I know he might need some time.
“Tray Pershing? I fucking love it.” He picks me up and spins me around, and we both laugh as we get another kick. Placing me down, he rubs my stomach. “Bean’s gonna be an all-star football player, I think.” He laughs again, which causes another kick. Our little bean, Tray, loves his daddy's laugh, and honestly, so do I.
We head back to the clubhouse, and as we get out of the truck, Steel’s just coming down the steps.
“Great,” I mutter under my breath. I love him as much as I love Ray. He took me in, and he’s the only father figure I’ve been able to rely on. My own dad never hung around, and the ones that followed, well, we know how that story ended, but he hurt her, which hurt me, and I don’t know if I can forgive him yet.
My lip trembles as I look at him, and he walks straight over to me. I stop dead in my tracks; my heart pounds, and he pulls me in for a hug, and I break. I sob against him, and he wraps me tighter in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles above me. “I know I hurt her, I hurt you, and I didn’t want to hurt either of you. I'm sorry. I miss you.” He leans down and kisses me on the top of my head, and my arms tighten around him.
“I’ll leave you two to talk. I'll be in the bar when you’re done, love.” I nod against Steel, and I feel Tank rub my back before walking away.
I just hold onto Steel and sob. I’m so emotional right now, and with everything going on, I feel so lost, so alone. I know I’m not. It's just… Ray’s such a big presence all the time, to then just be gone… my heart aches and breaks once more that I might never get a chance to see her again, and she might never get a chance to meet Tray.
“You want to go to the coffee shop?”
