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“Big?”
“Yeah, with her, everything feels big and important, and it confuses me.”
“Come on, let's go home. I need to start burning the world down. I've got stuff to find out.”
We drive back in silence, and I get Ares to drive straight to Bernie’s. I tell them what's happened, and Marie breaks, but Bernie and Cade are stoic and just nod.
“Thanks for letting us know, son!” Bernie claps me on the shoulder and steers me towards the door.
“Wait, that's it? No questions, no nothing, just thanks for letting us fucking know?”
“Yeah, we already said our goodbyes, son. We just need to process. Thanks again.” The door clicks shut behind me.
Ares gets out of the truck. “That was quick, how did it go?”
“Felt like they didn't give a shit, to be fair. They’d already said their goodbyes and just needed to process it. I need to see Bran and Demi.”
Once we've seen them, I'm reeling. I mean, show some compassion. Demi breaks, and I cry, and we hug.
Bran just stands there. “Thanks for letting us
know.” He pulls Demi from my arms and closes the door on me. Ares just stares, as confused as me. “What the fuck? Is that the same response you got from Cade and Bernie?”
“Yep, exactly the same, no emotion, no nothing, just thanks for letting us know!”
“Fuck!”
“Yep, I’m gonna get some sleep. I'm exhausted, and then tomorrow, I'm gonna hit the ground running. I need to see if Dice is gonna help me or if I need to find another tech guy.”
As we walk to the apartment, Ares stops and turns to me. “Whatever it takes, Brother, I’m with you. I'll help however I can.”
I nod and head up the stairs. As I walk in, Dane and Dice are sitting on the couch, not talking. Clearly, there’s an atmosphere.
“Dane, I’m sorry, I…”
He waves a hand at me, “It's fine, Steel. Ray was her own person. She knew what she was doing. It's on her, no one else.” He rises from the couch. “Thanks for letting me know.” He walks off towards his room.
“What the fuck was all that? He's shown no emotion or anything. When I told him, he said the same. ‘Thanks for letting me know.’ That’s it. I mean, what the fuck?” Dice is now pacing the living room.
“I got exactly the same from the others. Demi and Marie lost it, but Bran, Bernie and Cade, not a fucking flicker, like she means nothing. I mean, he’s already talking past tense. Well, fuck that. She’s still with me. She’s still here. I can feel it.” I walk over to him and hug him. “Dice, will you help me find him? I know you didn't want to get involved when I asked for help to find her, but you came through in the end. Will you help me now? I’m gonna kill that motherfucker, and I need access to the office.”
“Yeah, man, I’ll help, let's burn his world to the fucking ground.”
I hug him hard. “I love you, Dice. Now, let's get some rest. Tomorrow, I wanna start following Roach’s last moves. See if the slimy fucker can lead me anywhere.”
As my head hits the pillow, her scent surrounds me from the sheet I tore off the bed to bring back with me, and I cry myself to sleep and sleep like the dead.
Scar
Ares walks into my dad’s, and I wasn't expecting him home. He’d rushed off in the night after a text from Steel. He hadn’t said what he wanted, just that Steel needed him. It must be nice to be needed by someone. I was once her ride-or-die, her sister from another mister, then she ruined it all, and now I'm paying for it. She abandoned me, promised to always have my back, and when I went to the hospital to see her, she wouldn't even let me in. She wouldn't even look at me; I just wanted to explain, but she wouldn't even see me.
“Scar, did you hear me?” Ares's voice cuts through my rambling mind. That's all that seems to happen lately. She consumes my every thought. I’m so angry at her for what she did to Steel, and then I remember she didn't do anything, and then I’m angry at her for disappearing, then I remember she was kidnapped and tortured, and then I’m angry that I didn't know. I went to see her at the hospital and remember she wouldn't see me, so I’m even angrier at her. She always had my back, but this time, she’s just left me flailing in her wake alone.
“Scar, princess.”
My eyes snap to his, and I smile. “Hey, when did you get back?”
“Scar, I've been standing here for ten minutes. Are you okay?”
