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“What?”
“I thought there was a chance it might not happen. But…I talked to my mom yesterday, and she signed the papers. It’s going through. They’ve been separated since the spring.”
“Wow. I-I can’t believe it. They always seemed sohappy.”
“Yeah. Things change, I guess.” I kick at a pebble on the pavement.
“Are you doing okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I feel bad for the twins and Sally and Regan. Maggie and I are both out of the house now. They’ll have the harder adjustment.”
“It’s still an adjustment for you.”
I exhale. “I know. Not sure what Thanksgiving will look like this year.”
“When did you find out?” she asks.
“A little while ago. You had enough going on and I needed some time to…process it.”
“I’m so sorry, Cassia.”
“It’ll be all right. I want them both to be happy. If this is what they decided, there’s nothing I can do. Right?”
“Yeah. Right.”
We switch to catching up on other topics, which is a relief. I feel like my entire life has been overtaken by stressful, scary secrets lately. Maybe that’s just a part of adulthood.
We talk for a while before Sydney has to leave for a play rehearsal.
“I hope it goes well this weekend,” I tell her before we hang up.
“You and Holden tell each other everything, huh?” She sounds happy about it, not annoyed.
“We’re trying out the truth thing.”
She laughs. “I hope it goes well too. But honestly? I just need it tohappen. To look at her. Now that I’m going to be a mom, it’s even harder to understand how she could have made that decision.”
“Maybe there’s no explanation.”
“Yeah.” Sydney sighs. “Part of me, just—I never had any closure. Holden remembers her, but I was only four when she left. And it’s not like we reminisced with our dad about the good old days. I don’t even remember what she looked like. If I passed her on the street, I probably wouldn’t recognize her. And she’s…dying, so this is my last chance. For anything.”
“I hope you get everything you need from it, Syd.”
“I feel bad, making Holden do it.”
I hear the question in her voice, wondering what he’s told me. This is just as uncomfortable as when I was trying to share details of my first time and avoid the weirdness of us discussing her brother. Two important, distinct relationships—my closest, oldest friend and my boyfriend—with a lot of overlap.
“He doesn’t do things he doesn’t want to do. You know that,” I say, attempting a little levity.
“Maybe that was true once,” she replies. “Not anymore.” Then sighs. “I’ve gotta get to class. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
“Okay. Bye, Syd.”
“Bye.”
She hangs up. I stand and soak in a little more Vitamin D, then head back inside the library.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR
