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It would all be worth it.
He poured himself a double shot and downed it all at once, glad Max couldn’t see his hands shaking.
18
RUBY
She was only half-asleep when Roman came to bed, her mind roiling with thoughts of Olivia. She was out there, in a motel less than a half hour away, waiting for Ruby to come and get her.
“Hey,” she said as Roman eased into the room, closing the door behind him.
The room was pitch black, the city blocked out by the heavy draperies Ruby had closed when she’d finally climbed into bed.
“I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“You didn’t,” she said. “I can’t sleep.”
The last twenty-four hours had been maddening. Every instinct in her body screamed to go to her daughter, but she’d forced herself to listen to Roman, to follow his lead when he said they needed a plan and at least one more man for the operation to get Olivia out safely.
“Be right back,” he said, slipping into the bathroom.
She heard the water running and relished the intimacy of their close quarters, allowed herself to imagine that they were like any other couple, building a relationship that might lead to something permanent.
A house. Kids. The beautiful chaos of home and family that made all the hardship of life worthwhile.
He turned off the bathroom light and returned to the room. She heard him undress, sensed rather than saw that he laid his clothes carefully over the chair by the window.
Then he slipped, naked, into bed beside her.
Even in their present circumstances, she couldn’t help wanting him. The heat of his bare skin against hers, the soft scratch of the hair on his legs, the scent of his cologne and sweat, all of it sent a wave of heat to her center and she nestled against him as he pulled her into his arms.
“I’m sorry you can’t sleep,” he said, kissing her hair. “For what it’s worth, she’s okay.”
Ruby craned her neck to look up at him, following his voice in the dark. “How do you know?”
“Max checked in with Baz’s man. They’re still at the motel and he spotted Olivia when Adam took her to the vending machine.”
“She shouldn’t be eating junk food from a vending machine.” It was a dumb thing to say, but Ruby needed to remind herself that she was still Olivia’s mother. Needed to do something, say something, to assert that fact.
Roman held her tighter. “You’ll have her back soon. Then you can make her eat her broccoli.”
She laughed and settled back against his chest. “I never thought I’d say this, but I can’t wait to make her eat her broccoli again.”
All the small things that had seemed overwhelming in their monotony had come to seem like the most important things in Ruby’s life. She thought about all the times she’d wondered what it would be like to be one of those single, childless city girls, to go out with her friends three nights a week, bring men home to her apartment whenever she wanted, read books without interruption and sleep late on Sundays.
She’d never actually wanted those things for herself — Olivia was her world — but it had been a bittersweet kind of longing to wonder about the woman she might have been if she hadn’t gotten married and had a child so young.
Now she wanted to take it all back — every moment she’d imagined her life without Olivia, every moment she’d imagined herself free.
Turns out freedom was overrated.
“Are you sure we’ll be able to get her out?” Ruby asked.
It felt safer to ask the question in the dark.
“We’re going to get her out.” Roman’s voice was as solid as his body. “Lyon’s man will be here in the morning. We’ll have her back by this time tomorrow.”
“Promise?” She hated the plea in her voice, hated that she was desperate for a promise no man could really give.
