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He watched as she started walking and went up the steps and disappeared into the farmhouse.
She hadn’t even been there a week, and it already seemed like she belonged there, like it was home. Even though their home was going to be the smaller house behind it.
She just belonged at Sweet View Ranch, or maybe more accurately, she belonged with him.
He shoved a hand in his pocket, as the door closed behind her and she disappeared from sight. He turned to Sondra.
“Ezra. You’re not actually marrying that...druggie, are you?”
He snorted. Why would she have called Alaska a druggie? She had no clue about Alaska’s past. Was it the tattoos? The piercings? The thin frame?
It couldn’t be anything else. To him, when he looked at Alaska, he saw a glow about her, something that told him that she had met Jesus, and she was walking with Him.
It might be a new relationship, and she might not be perfect, but he could see the effort.
He was pretty sure Sondra was a Christian too. She claimed to be, but right now he wasn’t feeling it. Not that he relied on his feelings for much of anything.
“Yeah. I’m maybe a little crazy to say so, but I’m looking forward to it.”
That probably wasn’t the confession that he should have made to Sondra. Her brows drew down, and anger entered her eyes as they narrowed, and she put both hands on her hips.
“Do you think you could have said something to me? How long were you going to string me along?”
“I told you as soon as I knew. Things have gone...quickly.”
“Do you have some kind of drug lord threatening you somehow? Because honest-to-goodness, Ezra, that is the only way I can figure out why someone like you would marry someone like her.”
“Yeah, I guess I am kind of blessed that she agreed to marry me. I don’t deserve her.” He found that those words were true. Look at him now, bumbling everything, and not treating Alaska nearly the way she deserved to be treated, and yet... She hadn’t told him that she was breaking up with him. At least not yet. Not that they were even together. They just decided to get married.
“Ezra. Are you going to throw away everything that we have? Everything that we worked for? All the plans and dreams that you and I have built, just to marry...that?”
“I’m sorry. I should have... Spoken up sooner. You’re right.” He spoke that last quickly as she opened her mouth, likely to tell him that was exactly what she was saying.
“I would say that you should have. How long were you going to drag me along?”
“I told you. As soon as I knew, I told you.”
“You mean to tell me that you just decided yesterday to marry her and you were going to do it today?” She rolled her eyes. “Ezra. You forget that I’ve known you forever. You’re not a spur of the moment person. You and I have been engaged for... Three years? Something like that.” She waved her hand dismissively, but he wasn’t fooled. Sondra kept track of dates. She knew exactly, down to the day, and possibly the hour and minute, how long they’d been engaged.
“You’re just going to let all that go for someone that you... I assume just met?” She narrowed her eyes. “How long have you known her?”
“Less than a week.” He almost closed his eyes against the onslaught he knew was coming. It felt like he was being buffered in a storm. He would rather be naked and lost in a North Dakota snowstorm, then be facing Sondra right now.
“Less than a week?” she shrieked, her voice shrill. “Ezra Clybourn, if your parents were alive they would die.”
She didn’t seem to see the irony in that statement, and the mention of his parents sent a small pain through his chest. He wished they were alive. His mom would love Alaska. His dad would encourage him to do the right thing, to do what he thought God wanted him to do, and Ezra was sure that marrying Alaska, as crazy as it was, was the exact right thing.
“I think they would like her. The same way they liked you.”
That shut her up. Her mouth, which had been open, probably to give him another piece of her mind, snapped shut.
“I loved your parents so much.” Her voice wobbled a bit, and he set up a new prayer.Lord, please don’t let her cry.
“I think everybody who knew them loved them.” He took a breath. “Sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have allowed this to go on as long as it did. I just... I guess I was lazy. I knew it was going to involve confrontation, and I didn’t want that to happen. So I just let it go. You know as well as I do that you and I aren’t compatible at all. The things you love, aren’t things I care for. Not even a little bit.” And that was a major understatement. He didn’t even own a TV, and that seemed to be what her life revolved around. Whatever came off the screen, defined her. “And you have a whole world that I’m not in. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, and wants to be in that world, wants to share those things with you.”
“I want it to be you!” she said, and her lip trembled. “I wanted all that to be you. Why can’t you do that? You know it! You know what’s right. You know you’re supposed to be interested in the things I’m interested in, and you know that I’ve tried hard to learn to be a ranch girl. I watched seven different shows about people who live on ranches, and I know everything there is to know about it. I just need to put it into practice, but you would never take the time to show me.”
He shoved his other hand in his pocket and looked away. She was right. She had wanted to be a part of the farm. Part of the ranchin Wyoming. And he hadn’t wanted to spend the time with her. He’d always come up with some excuse, or just hadn’t told her what he was doing. Or pawned her off on one of his sisters. Being with Sondra wasn’t like being with Alaska. He wanted to be with Alaska. Even now, she’d disappeared inside the house, and he wanted to go to her, touch her, make sure everything was okay between them.
