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She wanted to pray that her words would be accepted, that her apology would be sincere and the person she spoke to would understand that, but she didn’t pray for herself, and didn’t havethe words to pray for her adversary. Or, the person who hopefully after today would no longer be her adversary.
She walked to the door and knocked. She could hear a child crying, someone yelling, and what sounded like a crash.
If Ezra heard, he didn’t comment from behind her. She could feel his presence, but he wasn’t close, respecting her wishes, and she had to remember to thank him.
After waiting for a while, she lifted her hand and knocked again, unsure as to whether or not the doorbell worked, or if they could hear over all the noise that came from inside.
Finally, she knocked a third time, wondering if all of her anxiety was for naught .If no one answered the door, she could hardly confront her past and apologize the way she needed to.
“All right, I’m coming,” a woman yelled and the door jerked open. Her eyes grew big. “You!” she said.
“Shanna. I needed to apologize.”
The words tumbled out, even though it probably wasn’t the best way to start the conversation, but maybe she just needed to make sure that she got the words out that she needed to say, since Shanna looked like she was about ready to slam the door in her face.
“What?”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It’s true. I didn’t know that Chalmer was married. He didn’t tell me, and when I finally did find out, he told me he was leaving you. He told me that for about a year, before I finally broke up with him. But obviously, I should have walked away from him the second I knew that he had lied to me about the fact that he was married to begin with.”
“I don’t believe you at all. Didn’t it ever seem strange to you that he never took you back to his house? Didn’t you wonder where he lived? This is a small town. Everyone knows that Chalmer and I were together. We were the picture-perfect storybook couple. Until you lured him away.”
She swallowed, feeling worse than she ever had in her life before. She never wanted to be the “other woman” again. She hadn’t wanted to be the “other woman” to begin with.
“I’m sorry. I’m not from around here. I didn’t know it. I mean, Rockerton, where I grew up, is far enough away that... I just didn’t know.” It was the truth. She didn’t know. She might have heard of Chalmer, but her school was bigger than Sweet Water, and they never played each other. She’d had no idea that Chalmer was some kind of big shot football player in Sweet Water. Rockerton had their own big shot football players, and Alaska had made her share of mistakes, but she had steered clear of any guy who seemed like a player.
“It’s too late now. The damage is done. My marriage is trash.”
“I’m sorry for my part in that. I truly, truly am. Is there something I can do to make it up to you?” She hadn’t intended to say that last, but an apology would be more sincere if it was accompanied by an attempt to try to make things right, even if that wasn’t entirely possible.
“What are you going to do?” Shanna asked, her face clearly saying that there was nothing that she could do.
There was a crash, and then a cry, and then screaming.
Shanna looked over her shoulder and yelled, “Shut up! Or I’ll give you something to cry about!”
Alaska tried not to cringe. Her mother had said that to her more than once, and she’d often wondered what it would have been like if her mother had just gone to her and put her arm around her and held her while she cried. That was the kind of mother she wanted to be.
Ezra had painted such a beautiful picture of the relationship that his parents had. He hadn’t said, but she pictured his parents as being loving and kind, benevolent to their children, although Alaska was pretty sure that they had been disciplined too.
She wanted to talk to him more about it. He could tell stories about his childhood forever and she would never grow tired oflistening, dreaming, wishing it had been her that had grown up in a house like that, and longing with every fiber of her being to provide a home like that for her children.
“I can’t think of a thing that you can do.” Shanna looked over Alaska’s shoulder. “What’s Ezra doing with you?”
It surprised Alaska for a moment that Shanna knew his name, but then she realized it was a small town, and Shanna probably knew everyone. That was the kind of person Shanna was. Maybe before she had children, before she’d been cheated on by her husband and divorced and thrown away like trash, maybe she’d been happy. Bubbly. Friendly, and someone who talked to everyone, who was everybody’s friend.
Alaska wasn’t sure, but she could picture Shanna that way.
She almost expected Ezra to say something. After all, Shanna was looking at him like she expected him to speak. But he respected what Alaska had asked, and he remained silent.
“We’re on our way to get married,” she finally said.
“Oh really?” Shanna batted her eyes. “Well then maybe that would be just desserts. You share your husband, the way you expected me to share mine. I would say that would be good payback.”
“I’m sorry. But no.” She wasn’t sure whether Shanna was sincere or not. She figured that she most likely wasn’t, but she didn’t want to take any chances. She had heard, whether it was true or not she did not know, but she had heard that Shanna had cheated on Chalmer just as much as Chalmer had cheated on Shanna.
