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Brooke followed Clover out into the bright morning, wishing that she didn’t have to feel so conflicted about everything while understanding that this was probably normal after you’d lost your spouse. Life went on for the partner who lived, but no one said it was going to be easy. No one ever said it would be straightforward. Itwaswhat it was, and sometimes, she guessed, knowing that had to suffice.
‘You OK, Brooke?’ Clover asked, her eyes wise and knowing.
‘To be honest, Clover, I don’t know. I’m very grateful for your help and for Darcie’s but everything feels so raw sometimes.’
‘That’s perfectly understandable,’ Clover said. ‘Every time there’s a new first, it will be tough. But you’re resilient and you are doing a wonderful job of keeping on going.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘I know so.’ Clover took Brooke’s hand and tucked it into the crook of her arm. ‘Let’s head back to yours and you can make me a coffee with your new machine, and we can have a look at some hairstyle ideas.’
‘Thank you.’ Brooke leant closer to Clover and kissed her cheek and Clover chuckled.
‘One day at a time, my sweetheart. Taking life one day at a time is all that any of us can do.’
And as they walked back to Sunflower Street, Brooke knew Clover was right.
Chapter 25
Brooke
On Friday evening, after she’d collected Allegra from school and made her some dinner, Brooke had taken her time to get ready — soaked in a bubble bath, used a treatment on her hair and buffed her skin until it shone. She’d explained to her daughter that Clover would look after her and Allegra had been excited at the thought of a change of company for the evening.
When Brooke was ready, she’d stood in front of her bedroom mirror and marvelled at how different she looked. Wearing the beautiful dress with heels, some makeup (but not much as she didn’t want to go overboard) and with her bobbed hair in soft curls, she looked different. Not like a grieving widow, but like a young woman about to go out for the evening. It was strange, but she did feel somewhat better in the dress, like she’d put on a costume or a disguise and could now be someone else, perhaps the person she used to be before all the pain and grief. Of course, her thoughts strayed to what Aidan would think about how she looked, but she pushed it away because no matter what she wished life could be like, it was changed and would never be the same again.
Allegra and Clover had cooed over her appearance, and Allegra had insisted upon having some photos taken with her ‘beautiful mummy’ then Nolan had led her out to his car and opened the door for her. As she fastened her seat belt, her heart had been racing and her palms clammy, but she’d tried to relax as he drove them away from the village. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin this evening for him.
‘You look very beautiful,’ he said, glancing at her. ‘That dress is amazing. It makes you look like a princess.’
‘Goodness!’ She emitted a nervous laugh. ‘That’s very generous of you.’
‘I’m telling you the truth,’ he said. ‘I don’t flatter people for the sake of it and you do look wonderful.’
She looked at him and nodded gently. ‘So do you.’
And he did, in a black tuxedo with his face clean shaven, his blond hair freshly cut. And then it dawned on her who he reminded her of — the actor Ryan Gosling.
‘Why thank you,’ he said. ‘Although if the lads I work with could see me now, they’d no doubt laugh at me.’ He chuckled. ‘I’d never live it down.’
‘I’m sure that using humour with them helps though,’ she said.
‘It does have its time and place,’ he agreed. ‘It helps them to see me as a human being and not just as a person who comes into their lives in an official role.’
Soon, he turned left and drove them along a tree-lined driveway. Gravel crunched under the tyres and parkland stretched beyond the trees for as far as Brooke could see.
‘This hotel is gorgeous,’ Nolan said. ‘Have you ever been here?’
She shook her head. ‘I haven’t.’
‘It sits amongst over 100 acres of parkland and it’s one of the most luxurious hotels I’ve ever been to. Forget the party, I’d be happy sitting in the garden with a beer admiring the view.’
‘If it was a bit warmer?’ she asked.
‘Yes! Of course. Although there is an orangery so we could sit in there and gaze at the view instead.’
‘It sounds amazing.’
‘We’ll have a good evening,’ he said, glancing at her. ‘At least, I hope that you’ll have a good evening.’
