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‘I believe we can trust in whatever gives us comfort, whether it’s something like the sayingwhen robins appear loved ones are near, love spells that promise to win the adoration of the object of your heart, protection spells to keep you safe from harm or the possibility of life after death. Whatever helps us to get through this life is worth trusting in. We are all different and so different things will comfort us but if you can find something to help you then what’s the harm?’
‘I like that,’ Brooke said. ‘What’s the harm?’
She set the sculpture down on the table next to her then she reached for the mug of tea that Clover had made her.
‘OK then. Clover … thank you so much for this.’ She took a sip of tea, then she licked her lips. ‘The last year has been a difficult one…’
Chapter 12
Brooke
Clutching her mug between both hands, Brooke swallowed hard then started to speak.
‘I lost my husband … ten months ago.’
‘I am so sorry, Brooke.’ Clover shook her head. ‘How terribly sad.’
Brooke nodded. ‘Aidan was my world. We’d been together since we were teenagers and I never wanted anyone else. I loved him so much. He made me feel like he felt the same way and I’m certain he did. Not that we didn’t face our bumpy times over the years, but we always made up.’
‘What did he do?’
‘He was a musician. A guitarist with a band. They toured ever year but he always came home. There were periods of time when he wasn’t touring and he’d be home for months while they wrote more songs, planned the next tour or did local gigs. He was very talented.’ She took a sip of tea. ‘And even when he was away, we had video calls and texts and emails and we always made an effort to stay in touch. Not a day went past when he didn’t speak to Allegra and check that she was doing well at school. He even used to help her with her homework over FaceTime. There are days now when I think of something and pick up my phone tocall him but realise I can’t.’ Her eyes stung and her throat ached, and she took a moment to steady herself.
‘You miss him terribly,’ Clover said.
‘So much I sometimes feel like I can’t breathe.’
‘I understand that.’ Clover nodded. ‘I was married too.’
‘When did you lose your husband?’
‘Twenty-three years ago. So I’ve had time to come to terms with my loss but I still miss him very much.’
‘I’m sure you do. I can’t even imagine not missing Aidan. It’s like … He was around for so much of my life and now he’s gone and some days I simply can’t believe it. I can’t accept that he’s never coming back.’
‘It’s awful, isn’t it?’ Clover put down her mug and placed a hand on top of one of Brooke’s.
‘So awful.’ Brooke held Clover’s gaze, seeing the echo of her own loss in the older woman’s eyes. While it made her sad to know that Clover felt that same pain, it was also strangely comforting to know that Clover had lost her husband and yet she’d survived. Human beings were so resilient that they could lose the people they loved most in the world and still keep going.
‘The pain will always be there, but it won’t be as sharp as it is right now, lovely,’ Clover said. ‘That I can promise you. I remember those early days after I lost Paul… I could barely function because of the grief but over time I started to heal and one day, about a year or so later, I woke up and realised that I felt a bit more like me. And that made me cry then because I was so sad that I was moving on without him. But I was gone sixty and you are what … twenty-six?’
‘I’m thirty,’ Brooke said with a soft laugh.
‘You look younger. But thirty is very young to be widowed.’
‘I know. But then so is sixty.’
Clover nodded. ‘Yes, it is. But we did have thirty-five years together and I am very grateful for that. Longer if you take theyears we were friends and not lovers into consideration too. Yes that man was the centre of my world.’
Brooke smiled. ‘He sounds wonderful.’
‘He was. Paul was my best friend, my lover and my husband and we were like two peas on a pod. But … enough about me. You were telling me about Aidan. So how did he … pass away?’
‘He’d finished a tour and was home for eight months. Allegra and I were so excited to have him there. It was wonderful to have some time to enjoy, because I often felt like I was cramming things into the time we had together, you know? Trying to do as much as possible before he went away again. But he was so used to the thrills and high adrenaline of being on tour that he needed something to give him a buzz.’
Clover sighed quietly. ‘What did he choose?’
‘A motorbike.’
