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As hard as it was, I tossed my bag and purse in the car, then turned around to look up at him. “I think you’ve said plenty, Orion,” I replied. “In fact, you said more than enough. Enough to know that I can’t see how there’s much left to say.”
“I was wrong.”
“I don’t care.”
“Baby-”
“Do not call me that,” I bit out, my emotions betraying me a bit. “You have no right to call me that. You have no right to even be talking to me right now. I told you never to contact me again, and I meant that, Orion. I meant it with every fiber of my being.”
“I’ll do anything,” he swore, transporting me back in time.
“Let me guess,” I chuckled darkly. “You’re sorry. You’ll never do it again. You’ll do anything to make it up to me. You’re nothing without me and didn’t realize it until now. You’ll never let me down again, and if you do, then I can leave, and you won’t stop me.” I eyed him, hating how my heart hurt so much from just looking at him. “Did I leave anything out?”
“I’m not Cap Aldrich,” he said. “I never cheated on you.”
“Ah, so you’re here because you heard the truth,” I surmised. “You’re not here because you realized that you were wrong about my character, you’re here because someone told you about how I dated Cap back in college, and then all the little puzzle pieces clicked into place for you.”
“I can’t erase the past,” he said, ignoring me. “All I can do is admit that I was wrong, tell you how sorry I am, and ask you to give me another chance.”
“Another chance to do what, exactly?” I scoffed. “Accuse me of being a whore? Accuse me of letting your teammates double-team me? Accuse me of being a gutter groupie?”
“Sinclair-”
I put my hand up to stop him. “The truth, Orion? You have nothing to be sorry about.” He immediately scowled. “I knew better than to get involved with another athlete, and I did it anyway. This ismyfuck-up, not yours.”
“Baby, I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Ignoring the painful endearment, I said, “I don’t care how sorry you are. I don’t care about anything other than how you made me feel when you stormed into my apartment, accusing me of the vilest things, refusing to let me explain.” I could feel my emotions trying to get the better of me. “Fool me once, shame on you, Orion. Fool me twice, and I have no one to blame but myself.”
He stepped closer to me, the scent of his cologne making my heart skip a beat. “I’ll doanything.”
“There’s nothing to do,” I informed him. “I made a vow when Cap betrayed me, and I broke that vow foryou. I went against everything that I knew was best for me, and then went out with you anyway. That tears me up more than the words you said to me. When I found out that Cap had been cheating on me, and that everyone had known about it, it had done a number on my sense of self. I’d never felt so fucking stupid, and it had taken me a long time not to feel that way anymore.” I could feel the pressure behind my eyes threatening to make an appearance. “Then you come along and undo all that progress. I’m back to being that stupid girl that can’t judge a man’s character to save her life.”
“That’s not true,” he argued. “You’re not stupid, and I’m nothing like Cap.”
“You’re wrong on both accounts,” I shot back. “I’m the very definition of stupid, and you are just like Cap. Yeah, you might not be a cheater, but you made it all about yourself when you didn’t give me a chance to explain. Like most athletes, everything is always aboutyou.”
“Don’t do this,” he begged. “Let me make this right.”
“I will never date another athlete, Orion,” I told him, no truer words ever spoken. “I will never date someone whose life is bigger than mine, so he will always be more important than me.” My voice cracked at the end, but I didn’t care. “I’m going to date men that have simple lives and don’t offer what they can’t handle. My husband is going to have a regular job, come home to a regular wife, and help raise regular kids. And, yeah, our lives might be boring and mundane, but when he gets into bed each night and pulls me into his arms, I’ll feelsafe. That’s what he’ll do for me, and it’ll mean more to me than all the Orion Knights and Cap Aldriches of the world.”
There was a tick in his jaw, his anger shining through, but what could he say? I was done getting my heart broken. I was done taking chances with my love; it deserved better than that.
Ideserved better than that.
“I love you,” he said, and I wanted to hit him. I wanted to unleash all my hurt on him, even everything that Cap had made me feel all those years ago.
“No, you don’t,” I argued. “You’re just doing what all athletes do; doing whatever it takes to win.”
“That’s not true,” he snapped.
“It is in my eyes,” I replied. “And at the end of the day, all that matters in my world ismytruth.”
“I’m not giving up on us,” he said, and he really did remind me of Cap.
“Where I messed up in college was not getting a restraining order against Cap,” I told him. “I had prolonged the torture for a year and a half because I had loved him enough once not to ruin his future in basketball by filing a restraining order against him.” Orion’s back straightened at that. “Now, while I’d rather not do that to you, I will if you don’t leave me alone.”
Orion scoffed darkly. “I guess I don’t have to wonder if you love me or not anymore.”
