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“This isn’t a game, Nat. I’m genuinely trying to make amends. Milly’s death changed me. One moment she was bossing my ass around, and then she was gone.”
“You and David tried to destroy us. I won’t let you do it again! If any of this is a game, I’ll fucking break you! Do. You. Understand?!”
“Fuck, I can see why he married you. You’d defend him with your life, wouldn’t you?”
“In a fucking heartbeat,” I glared, squaring my shoulders. “Once I feel that you can be trusted, I’ll let my guard down. Until then, I’ll be watching your every move. If you hurt him, Matt, you’re fucking feet won’t hit the floor. Do I make myself clear?”
“I’m glad he’s got you, Natasha. I can see why you love each other fiercely.” Alex whistling down the corridor made Matt shuffle in his seat.
“You two haven’t started?” Alex frowned. “Fucking eat! You must be starving.”
Matt didn’t stay too long after dinner. He made a few awkward excuses, then left. “Did you finally talk to him?” Alex asked, watching me as I pulled out a blanket to put over us while we watched a movie. He already had a selection of chocolate in front of him.
“Mmm, why do you ask?”
“Tonight was the first time you didn’t give him your bitch brow the entire time.” Shit! I didn’t realise I had been that bad! “What happened?”
“I told him that if he hurt you again, he’d have me to deal with! I’m not saying I don’t trust him, but his book flopped. Rock Records dropped him. He’s got a lot of reasons to hate you.”
“Matt always wanted to be the lead singer of Steel Roses. Our friendship was founded on that rivalry. I understand why you’re looking out for me, and I fucking love you for it, but I honestly think Milly’s death affected him. She was the only member of the old gang that gave a shit about him. With her gone, he realised he had no one.” I hadn’t really thought of it that way. “I’ll always be wary of him, Straight Lace. I’m not going to let him back into my life fully, but I have to admit, being around him these last few months, jamming with him, it’s been like the old days.”
“As long as you're happy, that’s all I care about.”
Alex nudged me playfully. “Do you know how sexy you look when you go all protective on me. It’s making my cock twitch.”
“We are watching a film before any of that,” I giggled. Alex put his hand under the blanket, tickling me. I kicked my foot reflexively, and the bowl and chocolate went flying.
“Look what you did to my chocolate!”
“That was all you! You shouldn’t have tickled me.” Getting up, we moved around, picking all the chocolate back up. Alex rested his bowl on the table behind him. His eyes were dark as I bent to pick the last few Maltesers, showing my cleavage to him.
“Fuck the film,” Alex growled, tackling me to the ground with a passionate kiss.
Well, that escalated quickly!
Chapter Eighteen
Even after all these years, Alex still got nervous on opening night. Diego was currently rubbing Alex’s shoulders, trying to sooth him. Judging by Alex’s face, it wasn’t helping.
“How many years have you been doing this?” Cody snorted. “The crowd adores you. They always have. You have nothing to fear.”
“You know it’s not that easy for him,” Mason commented, stretching his arms out. You could tell he’d worked out for this tour. His biceps were huge! “Remember those first few years, when he threw up before every show.”
“That wasn’t the whiskey?” Cody frowned. “Well, fuck! You learn something new every day.”
“Hey, fuckdicks!” Diego snarled. “None of that talk is helping, so shut the fuck up!” Alex put his face in his hands. It was time for me to step in and see what I could do to try and calm him down.
“Hey, can you give Alex and me some alone time, please?” I asked, looking around the room.
“You’re going to let me take something for the nerves?” Alex asked, looking hopeful. It didn’t matter how much he begged, I wasn’t going to call the doctor. He got addicted to anything he took, illegal or not. Mood stabilisers weren't going to help him.
“No, because you don’t need anything. You’ve got this,” I soothed, watching everyone leave the dressing room one-by-one. Cody gave me a bemused smile. “I’m not going to suck his cock, dickhead!” I snapped, which got a loud laugh from him as he walked past.
When I turned back to Alex, his face was in his hands again, probably trying to help the nausea. Kneeling in front of him, I pulled his hands softly so he would look at me.
“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? World famous rock star gets stage fright even after decades on stage.” Alex baulked, shaking his head. “You think I'd be able to control this feeling by now. I hate that I always get this need to take something.”
“That’s how you used to get through this situation. Craving the old way is a human emotion that could affect anyone! Don’t beat yourself up about it. I have faith in you, Alex. You’ve gone on stage without the need for anything before, you can do it again.”
