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"Are you on your way somewhere?" Malcolm wondered.
"On my way back from an appointment," Derrick said.
They ended up strolling together by the fountain, and Malcolm noticed Derrick staring at some Valentine's decorations going up on the light posts.
His eyes on the banners with pink clouds and red hearts, he asked Malcolm, "So, Valentine's Day is coming up. Do you have any plans?"
Malcolm clenched his jaw at the question. Of course he had no plans. Until recently, he had dreams of a Valentine's Day with Derrick. He didn't feel like admitting he had no date for Valentine's Day, only dashed hopes, so he went with a question of his own. "Why are you asking?"
"Oh, I thought maybe you might like to take some time off?"
Not feeling hungry any more, Malcolm threw his unfinished bun and soup in the trash. "No, I don't have any plans," he said tersely then he asked a question he didn't want to know the answer to. "Do you have plans for Valentine's Day?"
Of course, Derrick would have plans. Now he wished he could cover his ears so he wouldn't hear anything Derrick said.
Derrick didn't say much though. "Nothing special," he said and looked at Malcolm with an unreadable expression.
Feeling resentful, Malcolm wondered, "Maybe you're spending Valentine's Day with someone whose name starts with K?"
Derrick bristled at the mention of K. As Derrick's expression darkened, Malcolm immediately regretted bringing it up. But he couldn't help the jealousy he felt toward this mysterious K.
After a moment of just glaring at him, Derrick demanded, "How do you know about K?" His voice was sharp and Malcolm felt like history was about to repeat.
Angrily, he asked, "Are you going to accuse me of spying on you?"
Derrick's expression softened slightly. "Of course not."
"I saw an envelope addressed to K from D. And no, I wasn't snooping. I noticed it when it fell out of your jacket pocket the first day I brought Paula to the office. Then you left your desk drawer open and I saw it in there again," Malcolm said defensively. He was an idiot for bringing it up, but a part of him just had to know.
"It's an early Valentine's card. I came across it on my business trip so I wrote it early but I haven't delivered it yet," Derrick said and Malcolm felt such intense jealousy for this K.
"You aren't going to tell me who K is?"
"K is someone I disappointed," Derrick said after a moment, his eyes sad and far away. Malcolm's resentment melted away as he got the feeling that this wasn't someone who was in his life now.
"Sorry," Malcolm muttered, looking away. "I shouldn't have been prying."
"It's okay. I write the card to remember him. K stands for Kyle. He was my high school friend. I leave a card from him every Valentine's Day," Derrick said, his voice heavy and quiet.
"Leave it?"
"On his grave."
"He must have been important to you. I'm sorry," Malcolm said.
For a while Derrick was silent and Malcolm thought that was all he would get to learn about it, but then he started talking again. His expression became wistful. "He was my first," he said with a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "But it was just a one time thing. I didn't want to go any further than that. Kyle didn't take it well. He refused to accept that there would be nothing between us."
Malcolm felt like Derrick might have been talking about him, but then he continued.
"Kyle wouldn't let it go. He kept pushing, trying to get me to feel the way he did and come out. Kyle was impulsive, reckless. He threw a brick through my window, keyed my car, scratching obscenities all over it. My father thought it was vandals, or that someone had it in for him. It would never occur to him that it was a guy I rejected."
Derrick looked toward the Valentine's Day decorations that were now being put up on the next lamppost. "On Valentine's Day, Kyle sent me a card in a pink envelope, inside was one of those sappy cards, but when I opened it, it said, 'Fuck you, I hope you die.'"
"Oh my God," Malcolm said.
"I didn't take it personally," Derrick claimed but there was no way that was true.
"That's not what you write in his card, is it?" Malcolm asked.
