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He studies my face for a moment, not saying anything. I know Josiah likes to think about his words before he says them, but this is not the time, man! What’s going on in that head? I want to know every single thought.At least tell me you forgive me.
He nods his head and slides my hand down to his and interlocks our fingers. He brings our hands up to his mouth and kisses the back of mine, never breaking eye contact with me. He continues walking, and I follow along, a step behind him, with my hand in his. I’m not sure what’s happening, but whatever it is, I like it. No, I love it. I glance at our hands and feel as giddy as a preteen girl with her first boyfriend.
“I’m sorry too,” Josiah finally says, shortening his stride so we can walk side by side. “I should have been more understanding of your feelings. Forgiven?”
“Forgiven. Do you forgive me?” I ask.
“Always,” he says, and then he leans in to kiss my forehead. He’s been doing that a lot lately, and it’s quickly becoming my favorite thing ever. I want all his kisses. All day, every single day for the rest of my life. What am I waiting for? What is holding me back?
I pull on his hand to stop him, and he turns to face me again. Without giving it a second thought, I launch myself at him. I stand on the very tips of my toes so I can wrap both my arms around his neck. His eyes are wide, and his mouth is open in surprise, but I don’t even stop to think about that. I bring my lips to his, and I kiss him like I’ve been dreaming of kissing him for this entire month. Like I used to dream of kissing him when I was just a thirteen-year-old girl trying to pretend she didn’t have a crush on her “boy best friend,” as I used to call him.
The kiss is awkward at first, mostly because my face bumps into Josiah’s new glasses—I’ll have to get used to those—butalso because Josiah is stunned and motionless. But after a moment, he bends down, wraps both arms around my waist, and picks me up off the ground. He’s kissing me like he has waited for this just as long, if not longer than I’ve waited.
He brings a hand up to cradle my head as he nips at my bottom lip. I want this kiss to last forever. I’ve never felt anything like it before, but too soon he pulls away from me and rests his forehead against mine. We’re both still holding onto each other, breathing hard.
“Ellis,” Josiah starts, but a car drives by, honking its horn. I look up just in time to see my dad drive by with a look of pure shock all over his face. My heart is now pounding out of my chest for a completely different reason.
15
Josiah
Ellis and I arrive back to her house to find the living room completely silent and empty, which is abnormal for a Sunday at the Barker residence. Normally, the living room and dining room would be bustling with the family getting everything ready to feast on whatever meal our moms cooked for us. Something’s up for sure.
As soon as I saw Ellis’s dad, John, drive by, I wanted to run home and hide under a blanket. Not that I am embarrassed of my feelings for Ellis or that I think her parents disapprove of me. Just the opposite, actually. I know our moms have hoped for a relationship between the two of us for a long time, thanks to that conversation we overheard weeks ago. They’re going to be overjoyed by the news that we were caught canoodling.
I’m not ready for their questions or jokes, though. Ellis and I need to have a frank talk about where all of this is going. I have no idea what she wants or where we stand. If I had to go off that kiss, I’d guess that she wants the same thingI do, but I don’t want to assume anymore. I’ll only end up embarrassing myself. I never know what’s going on in that head of hers. It could have just been a moment of weakness or curiosity that made her instigate that kiss. I might never know.
Ellis goes upstairs to look for her sisters, while I search the downstairs for signs of life. I find them all in the kitchen. Every single member of the Barker clan plus my mom. John is telling the whole family that he saw us “embracing” on the side of the road. I’ve never heard anyone actually use the word embrace like that before. It sounds like it belongs in one of Ellis’s historical movies.
“John, you better not be teasing us!” Mrs. Leslie shrieks. The excitement in her voice is sweet, but it sets me on edge. I don’t want to get her hopes up, just to disappoint her. Lord knows, my hopes are already up, and I’m worried about the crash.
Ellis finds me outside the kitchen and rolls her eyes when she hears the conversation going on inside. They’re all busy speculating about whether we’re in a relationship or not.
“I bet they’re hiding it for this very reason,” Jolene says.
“What reason is that?” Merrily asks.
“Um, we’re all insanely nosey. Duh.” At least she’s aware of it, I guess.
Ellie chooses that moment to barge into the kitchen, and everyone begins to scatter from their spots leaned over the kitchen island. My mom goes back to stirring her soup, John starts digging through the fridge, and Leslie goes to the sink to wash dishes. It’s almost comical that they think we have no idea what they were just doing. They couldn’t be any more obvious. Jolene leans a hip against the counter and pops a green grape into her mouth.
“Well, well, well,” she says with a devious grin on her face. “Where have you two been?” She knows exactly what she’s doing.
Ellis raises an annoyed brow at her, sending a silent warning to her sister, but Jolene has never been one to heed a warning. She lives for the drama. I think she’d willingly wrestle a bear or a mountain lion just to have a good story to tell later.
“It’s just a simple question, Ellis. Why do you look so flushed?” she says, barely containing the laugh that wants to escape. Merrily isn’t as successful as she simultaneously laughs and chokes on the sweet tea she had been sipping on while silently watching the exchange.
I glance over at John, still digging through the fridge, to see his reaction. I’ve never had to deal much with dads before with the girls I’ve previously dated, because the relationships never progressed far enough to really have to worry about that. But John… I’ve known him my whole life. He knows me and my character. He knows I’d never purposefully do anything to hurt his daughter and that I’m not someone who will just push her aside when I’m done with her. But none of that means he’s okay with seeing me kiss her on the side of the road. I don’t know how to face him.
I didn’t plan to do that. I just wanted to get her out of the house and out of earshot of her family so that we could talk about everything going on between us…which we didn’t really do. I’m still as clueless as I was before.
“Oh, leave them alone, Jolene,” Leslie says. She looks down at the counter where a pool of sweet tea sits and turns to Merrily. “Clean up that mess, young lady.”
Merrily immediately jumps into action, grabbing a dish towel and wiping up her mess.
I can feel my mom’s eyes staring down into my soul, begging me to look at her, but I’m not anywhere near ready toface that inquisition. She knows how long I’ve repressed my feelings for Ellis. I’ve tried to hide them for as long as I’ve had them, but I’ve never been able to hide anything from my mom. It’s always just been the two of us, since my dad didn’t stick around when she got pregnant with me. She’s always been the person I’ve gone to when things got hard, and I may have complained to her one too many times about Ellis’s past boyfriends to be able to really deny any feelings. I glance at her just long enough to shake my head at her and to see her roll her eyes.
I grab Ellis’s hand and drag her back out of the kitchen. She follows along behind me without a fuss, just as eager to escape the awkwardness as I am. We both plop down on the couch once we get to the living room and breathe a huge sigh of relief.
