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We could be kids.
Now it’s time to truly celebrate the life of Doc Michael Lincoln.
“What do you say, Grams?” She looks up at me as I hold out my hand. “Let’s go dance in the streets and celebrate Gramps?” It’s the first time I’ve see her smile all day. Reaching out, she places her hand in mine and together we walk out past all the people as they turn to follow.
two
. . .
Zoey
Jay: I’m outside waiting.
The familiar feeling of excitement, that rush of joy that leaves chills covering my arms and legs races through my body.
Jay: Don’t leave me waiting long.
Throwing off the covers, I hurry to stage my pillows, trying my best to create a form that looks like it could pass as my sleeping body beneath the blankets.
I throw on some clothes, pull out the hair tie holding back my hair, and give it a quick brush. My hands shake from the adrenaline.
I walk over to my window and pull back the curtain, and there in the window on the opposite side is Carson. I gasp, jump back, and stare at the man I’ve been trying to divorce for more than a year and a half.
“Ahhh!” I jerk awake and look around the room, momentarily confused. Immediately realizing it was all a dream when I find I’m not in my childhood room.
“Ahhh!” Another squeal echoes from the hallway just as the door to my bedroom bursts open, and in rushes Regan and Riley. My sweet little girls are wearing matching Disney princess pajamas, with their blonde hair matted from sleep.
They are the joys of my life and the very reason I breathe. More than three years ago, when I felt like I’d hit the darkest time in my life, these two beautiful souls came into my life at barely over four pounds each.
Identical twins, besides the tiny heart shaped birth mark on Riley’s neck, most can’t tell them apart. They are my joy, my entire world. I find the ugly memory hit me often of when I told Carson I was pregnant and him telling me that he hoped I did the right thing since he didn’t want kids. I will never understand how he was so dismissive of the lives we created.
I already knew prior to that moment our marriage was over, but my babies gave me the strength to finally walk away. They are the only good thing that came from my sham of a marriage.
“Regan took Rufus,” Riley jumps up on my bed and crawls over me. Her pout is always too cute for me to hold a straight face. “She hid him.”
“Riley pulled out Ralph’s eyeball.” Regan jumps up on the side and sits beside us.
Rufus and Ralph are matching giraffes, besides their color. One is pink and the other is purple. My father bought them when they were both still in the NICU and they’ve gone everywhere with the girls from that day forward.
“Where is Rufus?” I ask as I look between my twin girls who are so full of life, I wish I could bottle up their energy and sell it. They are full force from the time they open their eyes until they crash. Believe it or not, they actually talk in their sleep too.
“Where's Ralph’s eye?” Regan crosses her arms over her chest and stares at me with all her sassiness. Like two teenagers trapped in three-year-old bodies.
“How about you tell mommy where Ralph’s eye is.” I point to my left ear. “And Riley, you tell me where you put Rufus,” I then point to my right ear. “I promise I will get them both and I’ll even fix Ralph’s mishap.”
“It not a missap.” Regan huffs. “Sissy broke him.” Granted Ralph has had eye surgery multiple times over the last several months. Grammy’s terrier got a little chew happy one night when the girls slept over and poor Ralph paid the price.
“Sissy is sorry,” I say as I look at Riley, and give her my best mom look. “And she promises to never dismantle poor Ralph again. Isn’t that right, sissy?” It is far too early to play referee or miss fix it. I’d hoped I could have at least one cup of coffee first.
“I promise,” Riley gives in for which I am thankful. She bounces off the bed and takes off running out of the room. I glance at Regan and before I can say a word, she comes running back into the room with something in her hand. “Here,” holding out her hand I find Ralph’s eye.
I hear Regan sniffle. “Poor Ralph,” she whispers like we have not been right here in this very scenario at least ten times.
“He’ll be okay,” I assure Regan and she nods at me, but continues to stare at the eye I now hold. “Why don’t you go get Rufus, Ralph and sissy and I will meet you in the kitchen?”
She nods, slowly sliding off the bed and moving out of the room with her head hung low. Little girls are extremely dramatic and though I shouldn’t smile I can’t help it. Everything and I do mean everything is a production, a full-on Broadway play, and it’s the very thing that keeps me moving forward each day.
“Will you get Mommy’s sewing kit?” I ask Riley, and she nods, the two of us crawling out of my bed.
