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“I’m going to go shower. I’ll let you know about dinner.”
“Sounds good, honey.”
I head down the hallway, past Maggie’s shut door. The bathroom door is closed again.
Regan must be showering.
I blow out a long breath once I’m inside my room, relaxing in the familiar surroundings. I strip off my sweaty shirt and toss it on the floor, padding over to the window in just my shorts and sports bra.
I stare at the house across the street. There are toys scattered across the asphalt driveway, which was never the case when the Adamses lived there. But the basketball hoop is still standing, the fading daylight casting a long shadow.
My whole life is filled with reminders of him. Ones I couldn’t remove even if I tried.
I can’t escape him when I want to.
But the main problem is that I’ve never wanted to.
I chew on my lower lip, barely registering the nip of pain as I accidentally bite down too hard.
You could comeis not the most heartfelt of invitations. It’s a small gesture. But it’s something, and I was too surprised by Holden’s sudden appearance to really register or consider it. Him coming to the animal shelter hadn’t occurred to me as a possibility, and it’s another small gesture. So was showing up at my house.
My options are to stay here and wish he’d made more of an effort, or I can go tell him I want him to.
I stare at the old hoop for a minute longer, then pull my duffel bag out of the closet and start packing.
CHAPTER FOUR
HOLDEN
It takes me eighty-seven minutes to drive from Pembrooke to Haryock State Park. I spend every one of them replaying the conversation with Cassia in my head. Trying to figure out how the hell we got here.
She blindsided me, asking for a break.
We only saw each other sporadically over the spring, but that was more because of her busy schedule than mine.
I took the fact we didn’t have to be in constant contact with each other as a sign of strength in our relationship.
Cassia clearly considered it the opposite.
And instead of telling me that, she started this summer by telling me we should “take a break.”
Neither of us clarified what that really meant. If it was a pause or an ending or a restart.
I was too stunned—and hurt—to ask her for details or fine print. I got drunk with Finn and Mark, then left for basketball camp early the next morning. And since she never reached out to me, I never reached out to her.
Childish, but it was easier at the time. My logic was she wanted the break, so I would give that to her.
And now? I have no idea what to do.
It feels like I’m losing her. That holding tight or letting go will have the same heart-breaking outcome.
Nothing is more terrifying.
I exit the highway and follow the signs toward the campgrounds’ entrance. My dad and I came here a handful of times growing up, and it’s become an annual tradition with my friends. One I almost missed this year because of my damn pride.
It’s almost laughable that Cassia thinks she isn’t a priority to me. It feels like all my decisions started centering around her a long time ago.
What isn’t funny is that she doesn’t see that.
