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“Unless it has someone’s name on it,gangsta,” Kurtis adds and finger guns me like a dork. “Were you raised in the wild?”
“Howdid you know about my life in forests?” I say with surprise, as if I actually lived in the jungle. “Did you read my mind again?”
The three of them look at each other for a half second in confusion.
With a lump in my throat for effect, I go on, “I was orphaned and feral from the age of three to nine, and then the monkeys adopted me. They were kind, but all I knew how to do for years was swing from tree vines. At least the bear taught me how to dance. By the way, snakes and tigers are total jerks. But then, my life really took a turn when the aliens abducted me and downloaded all the information I would need, except for, apparently, kitchen etiquette for a karma group home.”
The guys shake their heads in amusement.
“I was kind of getting into the story.” Dante wiggles his hips. “I’d like to see your wildlife mating dance ritual.”
“An imagination will come in handy with our job. Speaking of which…” Evan points for me to sit on a chair at the kitchen table. “Now, more about this gig.”
Do I want to know?I wonder.
5
ORIENTATION
“There is no way I can back out of the deal, is there?” I ask Evan as we sit down for my orientation.
“No. Sorry.” He sweeps his glossy brown locks back with one hand and sighs. I believe he actually feels bad that I’ve ended up here.
“I didn’t think so.” I exhale slowly, trying to steel my nerves. I’ve been in a lot of rough spots, but I don’t see a way out of this one… yet. “So how long have you been working for Karma?”
“At this location, I’ve been here the longest. About seven years now.” Evan nods to Kurtis. “You have been here six, yeah?”
“Yep, right after my twentieth birthday.” Kurtis scratches his neck in agitation, regret for his fate glimmers in his gray eyes.
I suppose anyone who ends up with Karma as a boss has a checkered past, not just me. I half-heartedly wonder what they all did to deserve this fate.
“Two years,” Dante volunteers with no enthusiasm.
“Just a mere babe,” I say.
Quickly stuffing down his emotions, Dante smirks. “No.Nowyou’re the babe,babe.”
“I bet I’m a few years older than all of you, so I don’t think you should call me babe.” I’m certain they are all in their mid-twenties. Sure, I’m only thirty-two, but it feels weird to hear anyone call mebabe. I’ve never been fond of the cutesy endearment.
“That’s cool. I like older women,” Dante counters.
“Ugh,” I say, “I’m hardly anolderwoman.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Can you drop the wholetrying to get into my pantsact?”
“Who says it’s an act?” Dante asks, but there’s a twinkle in his eyes, and I assume it’s from incessantly teasing me.
“Whatever. I’m sure you aren’t at a loss for horny women and possibly men who would take care of any tingly dick urges you might have, so stop with this running sex joke at my expense. Besides, you know exactly how hot you are, and that’s actually a turnoff for me. You pushed this game too far, and now I never want to deal with all…this.” I wave my hand over his chest and groin area.
The sparkle fades in his eyes, and Dante actually looks a bit wounded. Perhaps he’s more sensitive than he lets on. Beautiful people often can’t wrap their minds around rejection, and I bet he isn’t enjoying the sensation.
“Yikes,” Kurtis says. “I think you just did your first instant karma job on one of us.”
Dante gives me one last glance and walks away. “Call me when we’re ready to head out,” he says over his shoulder and disappears from sight.
I knew Dante wouldn’t appreciate being blown off, even if it’s all a joke on me, but I wasn’t expecting that he would actually be offended and run off. “He can’t really be hurt by me calling him out on his antics, can he?” I ask.
“Don’t get soft on us now,” Kurtis says in response, but I notice his brief concerned expression after his coworker’s exit. “He’s just playing you… again.”
Evan ignores Dante’s soap-opera dramatics and sets a stack of papers down on the counter in front of me. On the top, it reads, “Terms and Conditions.”
