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Valerie’s lips turn up in a subtle smile, snuggling into my chest and running her small fingers through the curly hair that grows like weeds. Her skin is so pale against mine, so delicate and smooth like porcelain. I’m in awe of her beauty, but what’s even more intoxicating about her is how strong her will and confidence are.
I wasn’t lying when I told her that watching her spend my money was a huge turn-on. As those dollars flew from her fingers into the wind tonight, all I wanted was to be deep inside her. It felt like I could never be close enough unless our bodies melted together into one.
And if we had died tonight, I would’ve died happy knowing she was with me.
That’s why I can’t let Anatoly get close to her. It’s not even about the Bratva rules anymore, or the empire that stands to crumble like dry rotted wood if I break them. It’s about Valerie. She’s the only person who really matters, and I’m not about to allow Anatoly to take her from me.
“Pasha.” Valerie’s voice is soft, but it still startles me.
I look down at her to find her eyes open wide, gazing up at me. “What is it, my darling?”
“Do you really want me to get pregnant?”
Her question catches me off guard. The answer is a resounding yes, but how do I explain it to her in a way that she’ll understand. I risk sounding like I’m using her if I tell her the truth, but anything else would make me sound like I’m crazy.
I’m between a rock and hard place, but the directness of her question doesn’t leave me with any wiggle room.
“I would like you to be the mother of my child, yes,” I reply, tiptoeing around my words like any one of them might explode in my face.
“But why?”
“You’re perfect.”
She gives me a look that says she’s not at all satisfied with my answer.
“Really,” I insist. “You are sweet, resilient, confident, and beautiful. You’re everything a man could want, so why wouldn’t I want to go all the way with you?”
“Because you didn’t know all that when we first met, and you still wanted to knock me up,” she replies with a soft laugh.
“You’re really sexy, too. Did I mention that?”
She smiles, twirling a finger around my chest hair. I sense a sadness in her, that same odd emotion that doesn’t feel like it has a reason to be there. Occasionally, it settles into her gaze, like she knows some horrible truth that nobody else does.
“Are you happy?” I ask her. It’s probably the first time I’ve ever asked someone a question like that.
She narrows her eyes, searching the shadows on the wall for an answer. “I guess I’m not exactly sad, but there are things missing in my life that I don’t feel like I can replace.”
“Like what?” I blurt, eager to provide a solution to her discomfort. I’ll do anything to see her happy. I’ll pick every blade of grass from the yard and replace it with a rose if that’s what her heart desires. Nothing is too much for my darling Valerie.
“Unreplaceable things,” she says, moving her fingers over my chest.
“I’m sure there’s a way we can fix that.”
She looks at me, her eyes shimmering in the moonlight. “No, Pasha. All the money in the world can’t bring back the person I lost. I don’t want to talk about it.”
The person she lost? Was it another man, a lover who was far better than me? Or someone in her family?
I’d like to think that it’s not someone she was madly in love with, but the way she’s hiding the full story makes me suspicious. I don’t want to be angry and bitter, but Valerie is mine. I claimed her, and no other man – past, present, or future – can have her.
I inhale sharply. “Okay, so why did you bring it up?”
I know I sound like a total asshole, but it’s difficult for me to process my emotions right now. I’m teetering between immense disappointment and anger, unsure if I should feel sorry for myself or mad that someone else has taken so much of Valerie’s happiness.
If this person, whoever they are, hadn’t left, Valerie would be happy right now. There’d be no sadness when she looked in my eyes, and we could enjoy our time together fully. I wouldn’t belying in bed with her head on my chest, fuming because she doesn’t want to tell me who she’s missing.
Valerie lifts her head from my chest, frowning. “Pasha, you want to be with me, but you don’t want to deal with the difficult topics. That bothers me.”
“That’s not what I said,” I snap, squirming up to a seated position in the bed. “You brought something up and nowyoudon’t want to deal with it.”
