Page 44 of Arrow to my Heart


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“Hey, babe.” Laney’s sweet voice reaches me through the raging thoughts. I blink to find her standing over me.

Clearing my throat, I sit up as she takes a seat next to me.

“Hey.” I try to shake off the dread consuming me, not wanting her to see me like this. I’m a grown man scared of my own mind and trying to escape my innermost thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

How do I not lie, but also omit the truth here?

“It’s a really nice night to sit out here.” I pull her close in hopes of her dropping it as she settles into my side. I should have known better though because my girl is a chatterbox and has this way of seeing straight through me.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Her hand slides up my bare chest until it reaches my chin. Pinching it lightly between her fingers, she tilts my head towards her.

I close my eyes, not wanting to look into hers because I know I’ll break and she will look at me with sympathy that I don’t want.

“I’m trying not to lie to you,” I whisper.

She cups my face but I keep my eyes closed.

“Beau, look at me.”

I do as she asks, her voice more gentle than I’ve ever heard it. And when she says my name, I swear for a second, my heart actually flips.

“Are you okay?” I shake my head. She smiles and kisses my nose.

Not what I expected at all.

“Is it the dreams?”

I nod and she pulls me close, placing my head to rest on her chest instead. The sound of her heartbeat under my ear is enough to calm my mind. Her hand moving keeps me grounded to the here and now.

“Do you think they mean something?”

I don’t answer this time, just wrap my arms around her and squeeze. She knows I’m not ready without me having to speak a single word.

“Alright.”

Her nails tenderly scrape over my scalp before she starts rubbing gentle circles on my back.

“Alright, what?” My voice is hoarse from holding back tears. I’m used to gentleness or tough love. But this feels different. This is intimacy on another level. It’s knowing someone inside and out and how to help quiet their demons so they can breathe.

“Alright, we’ll talk to Dr. K tomorrow.”

I didn’t think about bringing in Dr. K. Laney has told us how much she helped Evie with her nightmares. Maybe she can help with mine too. My first instinct, especially now, is to keep our circle of trust small. However, Dr. K is part of this and has helped Laney open up to Havoc and I while guiding us on how to restart our relationship.

“Do you think she can help?” Hope floods every single word because I want this to go away. I want to put it back in the box it came from and never have to face it again.

“I think therapy has the potential to help all of us if we allow it to.”

I don’t know how Dr. K will feel about what I want to do, but maybe there’s a way to deal with it where I can avoid the black hole I always end up falling into.

???

The next day, Dr. K comes to the house. I had the study set up for us to use while Laney and Havoc said they would give us some privacy.

Once we are both seated and comfortable, Dr. K pulls out her notebook and crosses her hands in her lap.

“What can I do for you, Arrow?”

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