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Those emotions that I had reserved because my father hit my body every time I showed a feeling come to the surface, now everything hurts me, everything affects me, I allow myself to feel what for months, years and hours I have kept believing that it was weak.
I allow myself to fall into my own mistake.
Keeping everything to yourself is not a way to heal and overcome.
Being silent is no way to solve your personal problems.
And this is where I truly realize that I have caused error after error without stopping.
???
I fell asleep on Domenico's arm, when I wake up I realize that his neck is crooked and he is snoring while Leone supervises everything that happens around us. Talk to the escorts, I look at my watch and realize that only three hours have passed.
—The doctor said you can come see her.
—Why didn't you wake me up sooner?
—Because you were very asleep, and if you want to see her you must be sane, not with all your thoughts scrambled Salvatore, you must know what to do in case she wakes up.
-I 'm coming.
I leave the waiting room to look for a nurse. She very kindly leads me through the hospital, which is covered with guards. I go from one floor to another until I reach one covered in rooms with large windows. I get to the room seeing that she still has the tube over her mouth that allows her to breathe, I take her hand that is no longer as cold as the moment they took her out of the water, I see her face and she has wounds.
"We doubt he'll wake up in a few hours, Mr. Marino," the nurse mentions. It may take days, the impact was too strong and your lungs must regain strength to be able to breathe without the need for the endotracheal tube, be patient.
-OK.
—I'll leave you alone.
I hear the room door close, however, everything can be seen through the room's large window. Knowing that we are in intensive care makes my hair stand on end, it makes me think about many things to which I don't want to give too much importance or I will end up suggesting the worst ideas that my head can concoct.
"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I didn't see that you were feeling insecure about leaving, at first I thought you understood, but I knew something had changed when you begged me." I run my thumb over his forehead, leaning my arm against the pillow. . I just wanted to protect you, I had no idea that was going to happen, I was trying to get you safe. Just forgive me princess.
I rest my head against his shoulder where he wears a pair of patches that are connected to various machines to determine the rhythms of his most important organs.
—I'm so sorry, things weren't going well and I should have stayed with you a little longer to listen to what you felt, to listen to what was happening to you.
I wet his skin because of the impact of the situation, something inside me softens making me appear vulnerable no matter where you look at him.
"I was trying to fucking protect you, I just wanted to keep you safe and now it's all my fault," I lament, letting the salty liquid run over my cheeks, "I'm sorry." I don't know what your mind was going through in those moments when you looked at me with pleading in your eyes, I only knew that when I came back I wanted to give you the most wonderful life you could have because I realized how much it really hurt you when you faced it. to your father.
» I realized everything that that man's indifference had caused in you, I saw the pain you had because of all the humiliations and blows that your half-sister gave you so that you ended up giving up on the idea of having the family that you wanted so much. It hurt me so much to see how you let yourself go, how you freed yourself from everything you were holding onto because you have never in your life set out to do harm left and right. You have never been bad Emily, never and that is what keeps me bowed down to you because I realize that you make me feel complete, loved and you make me be good to the people I love - I start laughing because the reality is that I can only be good to them, my family—You have all the power over me, I was willing to kill your father if you asked me, I was willing to torture him to make him pay for all the damage he put you through. You will always have power over me, love.
I kiss his cheek, scan the opening above his head and watch his chest rise and fall slowly. She doesn't see me, she doesn't smile at me or she doesn't make her comments that make me smile. For now I can't see the molten gold in her eyes, I can't see that beautiful smile no matter how much I want to, but I have high faith that soon I will see my principessa standing ready to take on the world.
What I am very clear about is that Emily has the power over me.
She always had it and it started since we met at the club, she was right, we two were the most broken in that place, we were on the ground believing that the opportunities in life to be happy in our own way were over forever.
I was never going to regret meeting her, that's why for four months I kept thinking about her until I saw the opportunity to take her to my house and make her believe that everything had to do with a problem with Alessio. And even if it were true, I was able to protect her without needing to get into her life, that's why near where I lived there were always dead people from Rinaldi, because my people were nearby protecting my principessa.
I didn't want to get close, I just thought I could protect her until I got rid of my problems and one impulse from me was more than enough to change the course of history.
I was never going to feel sorry for having done that, ever, because today I had her with me although now I was waiting for her to open her beautiful eyes so that she would end up smiling at me.
One smile from her was enough for me to remember how in love I was with her.
One smile from her was enough for me to remember that she was my mafia lady.
