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He takes it back for a moment seeing the true desperation and in turn the disappointment I feel in myself. I can't stand looking at myself and believing that I became that man who I swore I was only going to pay attention to and then end up doing my thing. I couldn't, I couldn't be me, I ended up being him from the moment he left.
I wasn't a good person, I knew the damage I could cause when I didn't do something right, but my life was calmer before. I didn't have to be held accountable, I just had to pretend to listen and be fascinated by what my father could teach me.
"You must be different if you don't want to lose the meaning of life, you told me that," he emphasizes to me. Because you said that wanting to be different with my tastes and passions did not require me to pretend to be someone I am not. It had to be me and now I'm telling you the same thing in a good way. Salvatore, no one here wants you to become a dad and for four months you did. The days keep counting, so think carefully about the person you want to become because only you can stop or change it. And I, I want my brother back, not Dante.
I approach her leaving all those thoughts in my head. Dad said that being demonstrative with people could soften you to the point of leading you to the hardest fall, you lost your manhood, you lost everything that made you strong in the face of people who were always going to hate you or who were going to be beneath you. That is why he took small moments to show his love in bites, those moments were good, short, however, they were good despite returning to the usual monotony.
I hug her , not caring if that man is twisting in his grave. During this time with Emily I have tried to psych myself up and remember that he is not going to come out of his grave to tell me what an idiot I am for doing all these kinds of things.
My sister relaxes, hugs me too, and again I feel the connection I had with her long before the attack.
—I'm so sorry, Gin.
—It's okay, I think the good thing about her is that she makes you see where you're failing and I don't think she has the intention of making you someone good, she just wants to be on good terms. He does not like problems and even less with adults with whom he can communicate in a mature way. —She had always been good at reading people from the outside, but not those who approached her because there she lost the sense and the ability to differentiate between a bad and convenient person—. If you don't want what is yours to become our parents' thing over time, then improve your movements. Change, you're on time, brother.
"I know," I kiss her forehead. Go eat breakfast, I'll catch up.
-OK.
I see her heading back down the hallway to go down the stairs with more excitement than I had found her in the morning.
My dad didn't stop treating his whores as what they were, he had certain twisted ideas that he didn't share, maybe that's why he tried to stop mom from interfering so much in the teachings that he showed me because he knew that my mother's love would soften me. .
I was never the strong oak that did not move at a touch of a hand, at a smile or that never showed feelings. I did it the best I could, but I never did it the way I always wanted because I was always under pressure from someone who was hammering my mind all the damn time.
When I get to her room I find her as I left her, her head buried in the pillow and I am satisfied to see some of her lubrication spread over her vagina. The hair sticks out, covering her vaginal lips. I calmly untie her, trying not to wake her, I carefully approach to remove the toy that at some point during the night ran out of battery and stopped working. I place it on the nightstand, she falls onto the mattress and wakes up.
—Good morningprincess.
"You're an idiot," he comments hoarsely. You're an idiot... My legs hurt.
"That was the point." I sit on the bed. Was it clear to you that you should not cover something that is too beautiful?
—Are you talking about my smile?
"Yes," I caressed his shoulder. Why does it bother you?
She shifts on the bed until she's on her back, she pushes her hair out of her face and stretches her entire body, she lets out light moans and I can see that her thighs are trembling and sticky.
—Because you grow up understanding that men care about their physique, including ass and tits, and then add that the smile is another thing they love about women. Little by little I stopped listening to Fabian telling me that my smile was pretty, he always said that I had nice curves and was nice. I was so stupid back then that I didn't realize he always lied to me.
—Well, now you must think that you no longer have him in your life, he no longer influences you.
"It's hard, it's always hard when you were under the shadow of someone who told you they were going to protect you, when the truth was different," he sighs. He wasn't going to protect you, he was going to put you down and hurt you believing that that was a type of love. It was not. Actually, I don't know what that feels like, because love for me has abuses that I got used to.
—Now you have to get used to the fact that your life is different, you're not going to lower your head and believe that you deserve that type of relationship, are you?
"No, I don't want any of that shit that made me feel inadequate for a while," he smiles a little. You owe me a lot Salvatore, what you did to me was...
—It was what?
Her cheeks turn crimson, she laughs and she bites her lips, trying to reserve her perverse responses for another day.
—It was something I didn't expect, I had never had so many orgasms in a row.
—You owed me, I was the one who made you have them.
—You put a toy in me, it wasn't you.
