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The next box is in birthday wrapping paper, and it says,Happy Birthday, baby. I can’t believe I’m not with you for your nineteenth birthday. I dreamt about you last night, and when I woke up, I had to lose you all over again. I feel like I’m suffocating without you.
Setting the presents around me, I read every note he’s written, feeling my heart break a little more with each one because as awful as it’s been for me, it’s also been a living hell for him—always wondering, always worrying, and always imagining and fearing the worst.
The next present just has a simple note ofI saw these today and they made me think of you.Another says,I just wanted you to have this.
I’m just about to look at the next one when his large frame fills the doorway. He’s already dressed, but his dark hair is still wet, and he’s every bit as beautiful as I remember him being. I’m about to apologize for snooping when he smiles and squats down next to me.
“I see you found your stash.” He runs the back of one knuckle along my cheek. “They’re yours to open whenever you want.”
I run my hand over the presents, touched that he went through the trouble of picking things out for me even though I wasn’t here to open them. “Thanks, Matvey. I think I want to save them for later if that’s okay.”
He gives me another smile and runs his thumb lightly over my cheek. “Of course. They’re here whenever you want to open them.”
After helping me put them back in the box, he threads his fingers through mine and gives me a small smile. Matvey’s never been an easy smiler. He’s actually pretty damn stingy with them, but he’s always given them so freely to me. It’s one of the many things I love about him. I squeeze his hand and let him lead me out of the safety and comfort of his room.
Chapter 4
Matvey
Alina’s hand feels so small in mine, and I have to resist the urge to pull her into my arms again. I’m trying like hell to not crowd her, but all my instincts are screaming at me to grab her and never let go. I’d watched her sleep last night, and when her mouth had opened in a silent scream as she clutched the blankets, my heart broke yet again for everything she’s been through. Her screams of terror may have been silent, but I’d heard every damn one of them. I’ve suffered from night terrors ever since the fire when I was fifteen, and the fact that she’s taught herself to remain silent during them speaks volumes. What the hell did he do to her to make sure she never yelled during a nightmare? What kind of pain do you need to inflict on a person to teach them that?
These are questions I’m going to be getting answers to. I wonder how long it’ll take Konstantin to learn the same lesson. Timofey texted me last night to let me know that both Lebedev brothers are chained up and the mansion is secure. I’ll be paying him a visit very soon, but I can’t bring myself to leave Alina just yet.
“Morning,” Danil says when we both walk into the kitchen. Hesmiles at Alina and gives her a quick hug before wrapping an arm around Simona. “You met my wife, right?”
Alina smiles at the two of them. “I did. I can’t believe you’re married, Danil.”
He laughs and pats Simona’s pregnant belly. “And about to be a daddy.”
“Do you want some breakfast?” Simona asks.
Alina looks like she’s about to say no, so I step in and say, “Yes, she would love a big plate of whatever’s left.” I look down and wink at her. “I’ll get you some coffee.”
While I pour her a mug and add the sugar and milk just like she used to like it, she walks over and looks at the sonogram photos on the fridge.
“There’s your nephew,” I say, pointing to Roman’s son, “and Danil and Simona found out they’re having a boy as well, so you’ve got two nephews coming and whatever Lev and Jolene are having.”
“You have to see their nursery,” Simona says, waving Alina over. “Katya painted it, and it’s gorgeous.”
Alina takes her coffee with her as I watch her walk down the hall to the nursery. I don’t take my eyes off her, and I keep staring at the empty doorway after she’s disappeared inside.
“How’s she doing?” Danil asks, walking over to stand by me.
“Better than I expected but also worse in some ways. It’s going to take a long time, and I need to find her a therapist. She needs to be able to talk to someone openly, someone that she doesn’t also live with.”
“I can do some research if you want and get you some names.”
I look over at him. “Thanks, brother. That’d be great.”
I’m still watching the doorway when Lev and Vitaly walk in. Lev grabs a sausage biscuit and leans against the counter while Vitaly fills a mug.
Lev takes a bite and asks, “How’s Alina?”
“She’s okay, I guess. Sleeping isn’t easy for her.”
“That’s to be expected,” Vitaly says. He hears her voice from the nursery and smiles. “God, it’s good to have her back.”
I nod and turn to look at him. “I need to see the book.”
