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He brushes aside my tears while I try to get myself under control. When I can speak again, I say, “I know it’s selfish, but I’m so glad you waited for me. Thank you for saving this part of yourself for just me, Matvey.”
“Baby, every part of me is just for you, and I could never have been with anyone else. It wouldn’t have been physically possible.” He gives a soft laugh and shrugs his broad shoulders. “You’re the only woman who gets me hard.”
I find that nearly impossible to believe, and evidently he sees the doubt written all over my face, because he kisses me and says, “It’s true,malishka. I gave every part of myself to you the night you turned eighteen and I tasted you for the first time. Sex is more to me than just a quick fuck or a way to get off. I need more. I can’t open myself up like that to anyone but you, and I wouldn’t ever want to.”
He gives me one more kiss before slowly sliding out of me so he can lay on his side next to me. His fingers run up my body, lightly dancing over my stomach and breasts like he’s memorizing every detail of this moment.
“What happens now?” I whisper, watching him run his finger over my nipple. As satisfied as my body is right now, his touch is quickly sparking it back to life.
The corner of his mouth lifts in a sexy grin. “Well, we’re going to do that again as soon as possible.”
I laugh and brush back the dark strands of his hair, trailing myfingers down his stubbled cheek and sculpted jawline. “I was thinking more long term.”
He smiles and drags his finger along my collarbone. “I’m going to marry you and love you and take care of you for the rest of our lives.”
“What about a family?” I force the words from my too-dry mouth. “I know we talked about this earlier, but has this changed things?” I’ve been doing better, but I know there’s no way I’m ready to jump into having babies. I can’t even trust that I’ll make it through the night without screaming and scaring the hell out of everyone. No way can I bring a baby into this mess right now.
Matvey smiles and drags his fingers to my stomach, tracing large circles onto my skin. “We have all the time in the world,malishka. I would love nothing more than to have a family with you, to see your beautiful body swollen with our baby, but if you’re never ready for that, then we won’t. We’ll surround ourselves with our nieces and nephews and spoil them rotten.”
“And you’d be okay with that?”
“I’m okay with anything as long as you’re with me.” He leans down to kiss me, splaying his hand across my stomach. “You’re all I need. You’re the one I can’t live without. If you decide one day that you’re ready to start a family, I’ll be so fucking happy. If you decide it’s not what you want, but I still get to have you by my side, I’ll be so fucking happy.”
I smile up at him and kiss him again. “I knew there was a reason I love you so damn much. Even as a kid, I knew you were perfect.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Only you would think I was perfect as a teenager.”
“You were,” I insist, “and you still are.” I run my fingers over the scars on his shoulder. “You’re a good man, Matvey. I don’t care about the Bratva. I don’t care about any of the illegal shit you do. I know you, and you’re a good man.”
He never talks about his mom and sister, but I know he’s thinking of them when I see pain and grief fill hisdark eyes.
“I’m not, Alina. I couldn’t save them, and I didn’t save you fast enough.”
The guilt and sadness in his voice has me wrapping my arms around him and pulling him in for a hug.
“No one could’ve saved them, Matvey, but even knowing that you still tried to and almost died because of it, and I don’t care how long it took you to save me. You did it. You never stopped looking, and you never would have. You don’t have to believe me. I know you’re a good man, and I’ll believe it enough for the both of us. There’s no one better than you. I knew it then, and I know it now, and you’ll never convince me otherwise.”
“You always were a stubborn little thing,” he murmurs against my neck, making me laugh.
“I am when it comes to people I care about, and I love you more than anyone, Matvey.”
“I love you more than anyone,malishka.”
He kisses his way to my mouth, and when I feel him grow hard against my stomach, I smile against his lips and rock my hips up in invitation. I’m still smiling when he slides into me again. Being with Matvey feels like coming home, like I have everything I could ever need or want, and I savor every second of it.
Our bodies stay locked together for hours, and when I’m so tired I can’t keep my eyes open or muster up the strength to even lift my arm, I hear Matvey’s deep laugh before he kisses me and wraps his body around mine, spooning me so I’m completely cocooned in the heat and scent of him as I drift into an exhausted sleep.
I could’ve slept for days, but someone banging on our door jolts me from the deep sleep way before I’m ready to leave it.
“What’s wrong?” Matvey yells, sounding just as tired as I feel.
“Emily’s gone into labor!”
We both sit upright at Danil’s words, sleep immediately forgotten.
“Is she okay?” I holler, scrambling out of bed and frantically looking for some clothes.
“She’s fine. Contractions are coming fast, though, and Roman’s freaking out. They’re leaving for the hospital now.”
