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I check the clock to note that it’s almost two AM. Stella and I arestillmessaging one another, just about wrapping up our conversation now, which is wild because it hardly feels like any time has passed at all. It’s been such fun talking to Stella that I haven’t noticed the seconds ticking by me. I’ve learned a lot about her, about how funny she truly can be and what she went through when she lost her job and apartment before coming to work for me, which makes me appreciate her more.
God, Ilikeher. I shouldn’t, I still really shouldn’t, but I do. She’s so wrong for me in every single way. But I can’t help myself from liking her, from feeling like I’m falling for her. I definitely feel like she is on the same page as me as well, which leaves me in a bit of a bind. I don’t know what to do about it. I kinda want to test the boundaries, to see where this could lead.
Tomorrow, I vow to myself that I’m going to see where Stella’s head really is. I’ll see if this is something we bothreallywant or if it’s just something that we need to get out of our systems. It could well be just a bit of a flirting thing.
I tune Bill out of my brain. I refuse to think of him and consider his reaction as I get wrapped up in excitement. I’ll have to separate them into two different entities. Bill, my neighbor and friend, and Stella, the hot girl I really want to be inside. I can’t consider them in the same space in my brain or my head will explode. It’s near to the edge as it is.
It seems like Stella and I just want this to be our little secret, just a short little steamy fling that’s just for us. It might not be ideal, but swimming in heady lust isn’t sustainable either. Maybeonce we get it out of our system, we can return to friendship, or perhaps she will even leave the company to go and work somewhere else to further her career, leaving it as a fun memory that both of us can revisit when we feel like we need to. No one else needs to be any the wiser, certainly not Bill.
If I can keep it separate in my brain, then I won’t even need to feel guilty when I see Bill in the future. June either. That’s the ideal situation, isn’t it? The best outcome, everyone satisfied, everyone having their fun, and everyone okay at the end of it.
That’s the idea I think of as I happily head off to sleep. That’s the outcome I want to imagine because it’s the best for everyone.
6
STELLA
Ihaven’t been able to look at Finn all day long. Not properly, not without falling apart. Just knowing what’s happened between us in the last twenty-four hours has me in a tailspin. I can hardly control myself around him because of the almost-kiss and the intense messages shared throughout the night. Not knowing what could happen next is overwhelming.
I came into work this morning not knowing how to act around him, but it hasn’t been too bad. We’ve kept our relationship professional and our shared messages secret, which is the best way, I think, for us moving forward. Of course, he’s been shooting me weird looks all day long. I can feel that there is something bubbling underneath the surface, but it seems like no one else has noticed. Thank goodness. I much prefer the idea of it just being between the two of us.
Of course, when I snuck my dad’s cell phone and stole his phone number from it, I wasn’t expecting it to end this way. I was really planning on establishing boundaries and making things a little clearer, but that hasn’t happened. If anything, it’s gotten even more complicated. Especially knowing that he wasmarried before, and the divorce led him to the house next door. I casually asked Dad about Finn this morning, hoping that I wasn’t drawing any attention to the way that I’m feeling, and I got a lot of information.
Finn isn’t like me. He’s been married and divorced. He’s had a lot of experience, whereas I have none. He’s the boss of a company, and I’m really just starting out in life. For as much as I keep trying to tell myself these are all reasons to keep the hell away from him, the magnetic pull is continually drawing me in. I can’t seem to stop myself from wanting him.
“Hey, Stella.” Just as it gets to the end of the day, Finn touches me gently on the shoulder and grabs my attention. “I was just wondering if you would mind staying behind at the end of the day today. I have a few things that I would like to discuss.”
Oh, shit.My immediate thought is that the boundaries conversation is about to come. Just now, in the office, face to face. I would much rather it be over messages because that’s much less awkward, but I nod and agree anyway. “Sure.”
Oh, God, as Finn turns away from me, my heart is in my throat. I couldn’t be more anxious if I tried. This is so chaotic, not the sort of complex situation that I should be getting into. My father will inevitably kill me. Especially since he’s tried his hardest to help me. He’s done all that he can to get my life back on track, and I’m making such a goddamn mess.
But I remain seated in my chair as everyone else vacates the office one by one, the room becoming increasingly quiet by the moment. I try to keep looking busy so no one asks what I’m up to, and thankfully, no one seems bothered by me at all. They all whiz past me, happily discussing their exciting or relaxing plans for the evenings, unaware of the state I’m in.
“Stella.” Eventually, it’s just me and Finn, and he calls me into his office. There’s a definite tremor in my legs as I walk toward him. I try and brace myself for whatever is about to come, but I can’t sort myself out because I don’t know what’s coming. “Thank you for staying behind today. I just think it’s best for us to have a chat. Don’t you think?”
“Sure.” I bob my head up and down in a nod, as if I know exactly what he’s talking about, even if I have no real clue. “About?”
“Us, of course.” He chuckles, sending an excitable shudder trickling up my spine. “There’s a lot to talk about.”
“There is?” I gulp, trying to swallow down the thick ball of anticipation filling my throat. However, it goes nowhere. “Okay.”
He rises from his seat behind his giant oak desk, looking like a freaking sex God as he moves toward me. I freeze to the spot, waiting for the lion to come and eat me up. This time, if he really does want to consume me, there’s nothing I can do because there isn’t anyone else in the whole building to come and put a stop to it.
“I think there is a lot to discuss,” he continues softly. His hand stretches out and cups my cheek. Excitement fizzles through every single vein inside me. My whole body becomes abuzz with desire. I can’t move, and I don’t want to. “So much.”
This time, as his lips edge toward me and I hop onto my tiptoes to greet him, the intensity of the air feels incredible. Ilovethe experience of his breath tickling me, knowing that isn’t going to be the end of things this time around. I won’t be left wonderingwhat if?Of course, the almost-kiss wasn’t going to be the end of Finn and me. This moment has always been inevitable. There’stoo much chemistry and excitement between me and my boss. Wehaveto see where it takes us.
Oh, wow!The moment his lips connect with mine, the fireworks explode in an even deeper, more powerful way than I ever could have expected. I knew that kissing Finn would be incredible, it was obvious from the sizzling between us, but I had no idea it would make me feel likethis. This sensation is off the scale phenomenal. It’s overwhelming. I’m dizzy and can hardly stand up. It’s a good job that Finn has his arms tightly around me, holding me upright, or I would be on the floor.
I might not exactly have any experience in this department, butthisis hot as hell. This kiss is everything right now. I want more. I need more. I want his hands all over me, touching every part of my body, driving me insane. Of course, Finn knows what to do with my body. He’s got experience with other women, so I just know that he will drive me over the edge and I want that.
Oh, God, I want that so badly it hurts. I yearn to wrap myself tightly around him, to have him feel me, touch me, taste me…
No!All of a sudden, my brain sharply yells at me, making me jump.No, this man doesn’t want a virgin. He can’t want me.
“I… I can’t.” I gasp, suddenly throwing Finn off me in the heat of the moment. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Finn chuckles, not sounding too bothered at all by my weird reaction. He’s calm, cool, and collected, which somehow manages to make me feel much less of a freak. “What do you mean, you don’t know what you’re doing?”
