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“So what have you read about? Is there stuff you want to try?”
Right away, a flush rises up my neck, and I giggle again. I take a hit, trying to stall.
He smirks. “Oh, it’s kinky, isn’t it? Come on, tell me.”
I exhale the blue-tinted smoke and rattle off the bucket list I’ve memorized. “Breath play, blowjobs,kneeling, slapping, spitting, impact play, praise, some degradation, objectification, anal, being watched... being shared—I don’t think I could actually go through with it, I’m too monogamous at heart, but the idea is thrilling and I enjoy a goodwhy choose.”
His jaw practically drops, and he laughs with raised eyebrows. He’s not mocking me, simply amused.
“That’s fucked up, Jordan! Not your kinks—that’s great—but it’s blowing my mind he never tried to give youeven oneof those things!” He winks at me and tips his chin up. “So... is that what you want, Sunshine?”
“Oh, shut up.” I steal the joint back and watch the embers burn when I suck the smoke into my mouth. “Your turn. What kind of sex doyouhave?”
I glimpse at his joggers and try not to ogle, but I’m pretty sure this conversation is making him hard. Prying away my stare, our gazes meet again. There’s a hunger in his eyes as he watches me. It makes my heart flip, pounding harder the longer he stares at me.
“It depends on who I’m with. I like to be in control, but only when I know she’s getting off on it.”
The way he talks about sex is so confident. I tilt my head to the side. “Are you good at sex?”
He laughs, but his smile is soft. He’s actually trying to be humble for once in his life, which means he’s probably gifted as fuck. “I think so.” His gaze is so intense. “I bet you’re good at it too.”
I gulp and break eye contact.I’m definitely not. I’m in my midtwenties and can count on one hand the number of blowjobs I’ve given.“I don’t have the experience you do. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Cam gives a subtle head shake. “I don’t buy it. I see how excited you are about trying new things—that’severything.Nothing is sexier than curiosity.”
The warmth that spreads through me pools at my center.
“Shit, how the hell did Bryan ever snag someone like you? It doesn’t make sense. If you were mine...” He shakes his head. “Did he at least make sure you came first?”
I know he means well by that question, but it makes me feel foolish and insecure.
Tugging down the cuffs of my sweatshirt, I curl deeper into the sofa, mumbling another embarrassing truth. “I can’t come during sex.”
He sighs, sounding annoyed. “Do you want to?”
I scowl in defense. “What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I do!”
“Have you ever had an orgasm?”
“Yes. I have no problem when I’m alone.”
“How do you get yourself off?”
I hold up my hand and wiggle my fingers. “Or toys, but they were a point of contention in our relationship.”
“He was threatened by a vibrator?”
“Something like that.” It’s funny when I think about it that way. Big tough Bryan scared of pink silicone penises.
He barks out a laugh and sits up. “Jesus, Jordan, how long has it been since you’ve been properly fucked?”
A flush rises in my cheeks. It’s embarrassment, not arousal. Is it really that bad? A sad smile spreads across my face.I’m beginning to think I’ve never been fucked properly.“It’s not that big of a deal. Sex isn’t everything.”
I pass the joint back to him. He takes a hit and studies my face.
“Let me.”
It takes a minute to grasp what he’s proposing, and a nervous laugh escapes. “Excuse me?”
