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Wanted to be with me.
Or it was the wonder in his piercing yellow eyes as he’d caught my scent.“How do you keep getting more perfect?”That’s what he’d asked. And I was still struggling to suspend my disbelief of his praise. He couldn’t have faked that purr after he’d caught my scent. He hadn’t needed to kiss me, either.
He didn’t need to doanyof this.
And all of that, it was more than I’d even dared dream of when I’d imagined the reactions from my own mates.
Fuckhim.
I would tear up every book in here. I would show him I wasn’t going to stop fighting. I would get to my mates one day, and this would all be a confusing dream.
Slamming the book shut, I straightened, about to reach for the next, when I caught the title:Aura Studies Vol.5, Seventh Edition.
Seventh?The last I’d read from was the sixth.
How much would have changed?
I drew up at that, scrabbling frantically for where that had come from. The memory was a wisp of smoke curling up and closing its eyes, already dissolving back into the void with all the other forgotten fragments of my past.
“No...No no no…!”I opened the book again, eyes scanning what remained of the pages as if I could get the answer to that question at a glance.
I couldn’t tell. I would need to...
“Fuck.”
Stuffing down the traitorous half of my heart that breathed a sigh of relief at the realisation, I scrambled back to the desk to search the drawers for—Yes.
Tape.
Thank God.
That was all I needed to get to work.
It took forever, but with excruciating slowness, I taped the book up, making it whole again. Each page was perfectly fixed so that no sentence was left unfinished. Then I slumped against the bookcase, tome hugged to my chest.
Now I could read it, and maybe... just maybe I’d get another flash of that memory.
Fixing it had nothing to do with Dusk. I’d break his books all day if it was just about him.
But Ihadto read this one.
Maybe I could destroy it again once I had.
I didn’t know day from night in my nest, which soothed me. I hated clocks, and time, and day turning to night. Each setting of the sun was like a promise: you’ll be here again Shatter, tonight, tomorrow, and forever.
Alone. Hidden. Wrong, with no chance of being more.
So tired.
But now it was almost over.
Would it be so wrong to enjoy this nest for now, knowing my mates were so close? It was my space, after all.
I’d paid the price.
For hours upon hours, the silence in my nest was broken only by the turning of a page or scratching of pen against notebook.
Eventually, through the silence, came a knock on the door. I ignored it and it didn’t come again until my stomach gurgled with desperation and I dared crack it open to find a McDonald’s takeout bag waiting for me.
