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‘Holly, there you are.’
‘Marcy.’ I jump.
‘I was just coming up to visit you. I hear you’re staying for B&B,’ Marcy jokes lightly.
I run a flustered hand over my hair.
‘Watch out for the bacon. I hear it tastes like feet.’
I tug on the strap of the rucksack that I don’t remember slinging over my shoulder.
‘I… I…’ My face flushes. ‘I’m sorry, Marcy. I know you’ve gone to a lot of trouble asking your colleagues to take care of me, but I can’t stay.’
‘Holly.’ Marcy whispers my name gently like she might break into song. ‘I wasn’t expecting them to admit you. I know that’s hard for you, but they really don’t ask you to stay unless they’re concerned.’
‘I know,’ I stutter. ‘And any other time, I would stay. I’d be glad of the day off work, really. But I can’t stay tonight, Marcy. You understand, don’t you?’
‘Holly, your blood pressure…’ Marcy reiterates her colleague’s concerns.
I pull my phone out of my pocket suddenly and check the weather forecast. ‘Clear skies tonight,’ I announce.
Marcy stares at me in confusion.
‘Clear skies so we can see the stars,’ I explain.
Marcy presses the back of her hand against my forehead. ‘Holly, I think you might be running a fever.’
‘I’m not.’ I shake my head, realising I’m making no sense. ‘Nana loves the stars, you see. When I was a little girl, we used to sit out in the garden and stare up at the night sky, trying to find the brightest star. Nana said the angels watched down on us from the stars.’
‘Maybe they do,’ Marcy agrees.
‘I don’t know,’ I sniffle. ‘It doesn’t even matter, really. It’s just nice to think about.’
‘Holly, can we get you back to bed now?’ Marcy calmly asks. ‘At least until the doctor has seen you?’
Marcy steps forward and tries to link her arm around mine, but I pull away, shaking.
‘What if tonight’s the night Nana gets her star?’ I whimper.
‘Oh, Holly.’ Marcy softens.
I point back towards the prenatal ward. ‘I can’t lie there and rest, knowing…’ I choke on my words, and I have to take deep, even breaths before I can force out the rest of the sentence. ‘Knowing that… knowing that I could be spending that time with Nana.’
‘Okay.’ Marcy nods.
‘Okay?’ I hold my breath.
‘Let’s go back downstairs,’ Marcy says. ‘But let’s do this properly. We’ll go back and explain that you’re leaving, and we’ll arrange an outpatient appointment for a follow-up instead, okay?’
I swallow hard. ‘Thank you.’
TWENTY-NINE
HOLLY
‘Jesus, Holly. There you are,’ Nate says, finding Marcy and me standing outside Nana’s door. ‘I’ve been all over the goddamn hospital looking for you.’
I press my fingers between my eyes to release some of the pressure building in my head. ‘I’m so sorry. I meant to text you, but I got completely distracted.’
