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Now that my eyes are completely used to the dark, it’s easy to see as she stands up and moves around the bed toward me.
“For what it’s worth, girl. Gray’s right. Rhiannon betrayed us all, and not just you. Or do you think I haven’t fucking missed you? Dreaded what…” She trails off and shakes her head. “All of us, Zoe. I’m glad she’s fucking dead, because what she did was unforgivable.”
I swallow, getting emotional as Alana’s tone thickens. “I know,” I whisper. Then I reach my hand out to her, and she’s quick to pull me into a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Tears gather anew as we hug each other tight, like neither of us wants to let go.
It’s not until she’s left and I’m back on the bed that it occurs to me that Alana’s touch didn’t bother me, not at all. In fact, I welcomed it.
“Do you want something to eat or drink?” Gray asks, and a half-smile plays across my lips at the concern in his voice.
“Something to drink would be nice,” I say.
Now that he’s mentioned it, I do remember waking up every now and then, and both him and Alana had food and water ready. Hell, forcing me to accept it more often than not.
The mattress dips as he gets up, and I sit up, readily taking the water he returns with. While I slowly work my way through the bottle, he makes himself comfortable, and when I’m finally done, his breathing is deep, almost like he’s asleep. I can’t take my eyes off of him, scared that he’ll disappear if I do.
It’s still hard to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve gone months thinking he was dead, to now lying in bed with him. It all seems too good to be true, which is why it’s so hard forme to believe it.
At the same time, it’s not perfect—far from it. In an ideal world, I’d let him hold and comfort me. I want it badly. Almost more than I fear it.
“Gray,” I whisper, unsure if he’s still awake.
“Yes?”
As I lie down, I inhale deeply, preparing myself for what I want to try. “Can you… ahh…” Unsure of how to word it, I trail off.
“Anything, Princess,” he rasps.
“I… I want you to touch me. But not like… I mean… what if… fuck.” The words are harder than I thought, and I’m making a fucking mess of it. “Can you put your hand on my arm?” I ask, forcing the words out despite my voice cracking.
“Are you sure?” he asks, not commenting on how inelegantly I asked.
“Yes,” I say. “I’m sure I want to try.”
So slowly that I can follow the movement, Gray moves his hand to my elbow. His warm skin barely ghosts mine as he gauges my reaction. When I don’t jump away from him or start screaming, which is what I’m assuming he’s worried about, he gently wraps his hand around my upper arm.
“Like this?” he asks.
Closing my eyes, I savor the touch. Yes, my heart beats faster and sweat coats my forehead. But it’s not enough to make me flinch away or ask him to stop.
“Just like that,” I say almost dreamily as my lids grow heavier. “Please don’t let go.”
He’s quiet for so long I almost fall asleep, and when he speaks, I’m not sure if it’s real or another dream.
“I’m never fucking letting go again, Princess. Where you go, I go.”
Grayson
It’s been a week since I’ve had my princess back, but we haven’t even scratched the surface on the trauma she’s suffered since she was stolen from me.
She does little else but sleep, which doc says is her body and mind trying to heal and that it’s a good sign, because she’s likely been in flight mode for months and now that she’s back, she finally feels safe enough to let herself sleep properly.
I don’t know much about any of that stuff, but I guess it makes sense.
I’m not sure how to help her. At times she screams in her sleep, and it takes so much to drag her from the nightmare trapping her there.
I try not to touch her, scared she will flinch away from me again, but each time she rouses, she wants something more from me.
