AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His brow furrowed, and his eyes filled with concern. “I should have told you instead of just pulling over, that was my mistake. Do you forgive me?”
He reached across the space between us and cupped my face in his hand. I wanted to say no and pout, but the gentle stroking of his finger along my cheek was so comforting.
“Of course, I forgive you. I’m sorry about my reaction.”
He tipped my chin until he held my gaze. “Never apologize for being you, Veronica. I should have known better.”
He was so earnest and clearly meant every word. Unlike others, like my psychiatrists, who tried to make me see everything as my fault. But not Jacob. He took ownership of his actions and words, which allowed me to see and feel things differently than before. I never really thought about my feelings regarding the blame and guilt until now, until him.
“Thank you. No one has ever said that to me before and it’s nice to not be shamed for a change.”
His eye color changed, becoming darker. And for the first time, I realized that his color shifted with his moods. That took away the feeling of being imbalanced with him. A newfound confidence rose with the new tool of reading his moods and emotions. My human interactions had been so limited these past few years that I’d lost my ability to discern many things, but now it seemed we could discover each other on equal footing. That may be total crap, but in this moment, that was how I felt and what I believed.
“Is that what those specialists did? Tell you everything was your fault?”
I nodded, and all those feelings I had processed welled up within me, causing a few tears to escape and trickle down my cheeks. “It didn’t seem fair, but how could I argue with them when they get paid a lot of money to tell me what’s wrong?”
Jacob wiped a tear from my chin. “Don’t you worry, babygirl. At Rawhide, there are many residents with triggers, but we respect them and their journey. Just wait until you meet Harmony’s friends. They will love you regardless of your issues, or more so because of them.”
“Really?”
Jacob smiled and nodded, “Scout’s honor. They are going to love you.”
Before I could process how that could be possible, he’d unfastened my seat belt and pulled me across the bench seat.
“Let’s get that water and I’ll answer any questions you have, okay?”
I really had no reason not to agree but held tight to his hand as we walked the short distance to the vending machine. After getting a few bottles, we returned to the truck. Jacob helped me back inside and belted me in again.
“Good to go?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you.”
Jacob dropped a kiss on top of my head before closing my door and walking around the truck to climb inside.
As he started the truck and pulled out from the motel’s lot, I thought about what he’d said about people at the Ranch. He really seemed to believe there was hope for me yet. But the thought of being around a bunch of people who projected the same issues as me was not appealing. I wanted to meet Daddies and Littles and hope they rubbed off on me. At least enough that I may find a Daddy for myself. Hopefully, someone as perfect as Jacob. His distance, despite his words saying otherwise, concerned me. Maybe for all his talk, he wasn’t interested in having a Little of his own. He hadn’t said so and only expressed that he’d imagined us together, but that was before he became what he was now. I wasn’t brave enough to ask outright what hesaw for us in the future in case he said “nothing”. That would just hurt too much.
“Is that what happened with Harmony? She met people like her and got better?” I asked to deflect from the mixed feelings roiling through me about Daddies in general, but especially me and Jacob.
“Mm, not exactly. Harmony has ODD, oppositional defiance disorder. You could say you and her were complete opposites in that regard. While you accepted what you were told without negating, your bestie was always fighting, always pushing back and never listening to rules. But that was her coping mechanism, and when she met Gray at Rawhide, after their episode back in New York, her journey to learning herself and learning to manage began.”
“Oh. I guess that makes sense. So, he helped her cope with her defiance. That’s nice. I have to admit, I’m kinda nervous about seeing her after her changes. Maybe she won’t like me as much now that she has new friends.”
Speaking aloud, a fear I’d been harboring regarding my reunion with Harmony sounded silly, and I instantly regretted saying it.
“I can understand that. She is different, but also the same. I think you’ll enjoy her company even more than before.”
Well, that was nice of him to say, but it wouldn’t be like it was before she met her fiancée. “She used to share all her sexual adventures with me, and I would imagine the same things happening to me. You could say I lived vicariously through her.”
A frown creased Jacob’s brow. Had I overshared?
“What do you mean by sexual adventures, exactly?”
Oh-oh, had I opened Pandora’s box? Here I was Pandora and my big mouth was the box. To clarify, I added, “Uh, well, you know about how she and Gray met. How he’d been having sexwith her when they got caught after confessing how much he liked her and wanted her.”
An amused smile from Jacob quickly morphed into loud laughter. “Is that what she said?” he asked when he finally calmed down.
I narrowed my eyes. I was not at all fond of being laughed at.
