AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Derek leaned back in his chair, giving me a look I’m sure made submissives wet themselves, but I was no sub and returned the look.
“What I want to do is carry her back home and show her that we belong together. I’m still reeling from what she said. I never wanted to hurt or neglect her.” I sighed. “It was a stressful point in my life. I know that is just an excuse but things are different now.”
If you’d asked me before I got to Rawhide if any of the things she said to me could possibly be true, I would have denied every one of them. But her raw rage had lifted a veil I had placed over that time and was forcing me to see things differently.
I’d thought we were a well-oiled machine and she’d understood that it was just a stressful time. She’d always been my rock, always there, never complaining. It had been too easy to forget just how many times I placed other needs in front ofhers. Our communication had deteriorated and with that, our relationship.
How different would my life be right now if I had taken the fifteen minutes a day I’d promised to listen to the woman who meant everything to me? How much pain could have been avoided if I’d remembered what really mattered? I’d been a blind idiot. But how could I fix it?
“She said you ignored your responsibilities and broke the contract with her. Are you willing to meet her needs this time?” Derek raised an eyebrow. “She may not be the woman you remember. Would that change things for you?”
Shame roiled through me. Hearing her words and now his, I had to admit they were right. I had ignored everything but my own desire to get ahead at work. I deserved the slap for being so blind. I probably deserved worse.
“Yes. That is a fair assessment. Before today, I didn’t understand why River left. How she could walk away without even a note. But she’s right, I walked away emotionally long before she did.” I sighed and finished off my drink. “I was an asshole, no two ways about it.”
Derek nodded. “So what’s your plan?”
Hope surged in my heart. “Do you think I have a chance of making it right? I would love nothing more than to prove to her that I can change. Make up for all I’ve done, for the pain I’ve caused her. River is an extraordinary woman. I was so caught up in building my career I forgot she is also a human being. A woman with needs I wasn’t meeting. Our relationship appeared so solid that I never stopped to question it even when she threw a completely out-of-character tantrum. Instead, I assumed she would still be there when it was convenient and practically slammed the door in her face.”
I felt it now, not just the shame but the remorse as they rolled in, both coalescing inside of me, creating a pit in my stomach.
“It won’t be easy.”
“I will do whatever it takes to get her back.”
“You better.”
There was a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock. Shock made me blink. I’d been in his office for over thirty minutes. I put my empty glass on the side table and took a deep breath. If I was going to win her back, I couldn’t let her see my fears.
“Come in.”
River entered the room and my breath caught in my throat. Even with puffy eyes, she was beautiful. Her chestnut hair was done with large curls like a classic Hollywood pin-up model’s from the past. Her lips still showed a hint of the ruby stain she liked to wear, though it had long since worn off. I’d forgotten how tiny she was when her bubbly personality wasn’t shining through making her seem taller than her 5’3” frame. Her obvious fear made me want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay.
“Sit down, River,” Derek said.
I wanted nothing more than to reach out and place my hand on her quivering thigh. I wasn’t sure if it was nerves or something else, but the goosebumps on her flesh told me she was cold. I slipped my jacket off and turned to her.
“May I?” I asked, offering my coat.
She gave me a weak smile but nodded her head. I placed my jacket around her shoulders and she snuggled into it. I’d never before been jealous of an article of clothing but remembering how she used to snuggle like that with me had the emotion pulling on my nerves.
An ache tore at my chest as I watched her sitting next to me. She would still be mine if I hadn’t been so blind. If only so many things hadn’t happened. But here we were and we had to find a way forward.
“River. You struck out in anger. That is not acceptable no matter what your reasons. Do you understand that?” Derek’s voice held the perfect mix of disapproval and disappointment.
“Yes, Sir.”
If I knew my girl, she was beating herself up worse on the inside than anything the Master in front of her would do. I understood why he was talking things out, but I wished he would get to the point.
“That is a serious violation of our rules, so the punishment will be as harsh. Thirty strokes with the paddle.” He looked at her till she nodded. “Because you are unattached, normally I would be the one to administer the punishment, but since you struck Master Cade and have a previous history with him, I will give you the option to choose which of us will administer the strokes.”
A sharp inhalation from River told me she clearly hadn’t thought of that possibility. While I silently prayed for her to pick me, I didn’t try to influence her decision. The way her expressive eyes flicked from Derek to me, then back to him made me want to smile.
“I have to choose?”
“Yes.”
She looked down at her hands in a gesture that brought back so many memories I wanted to growl at her hesitation. Whenever she wanted to say something she thought I wouldn’t like, she would look down like that to gather her courage. The problem was, I didn’t know who she thought wouldn’t like what she was going to say.
