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Old-fashioned, sure. But the fantasy version of the 50s where the stay-at-home wife catered to her husband’s needs and he adored and protected her, was what I’d craved. It was a freeing and perfect relationship that felt right in every way. As a Master, he made all my choices, and I served him with everything I had. But perfection couldn’t last.
I wasn’t enough to keep him happy. I’d needed more than he wanted to give. It took almost a year to find the strength to walk away from the center of my universe. But I’d done it. The memory of the night I’d left filled my mind…
Anticipation dancedlike fairies across my skin. The house was perfect. I’d made sure everything he needed was laid out for him on the bed. It had been almost a year since we’d had a night out at the club. Heck, it had been months since he’d had time for more than a quick kiss or sleepy grope.
Work was keeping him so busy he often forgot to even leave me a list of chores or check my work. We’d both known living the lifestyle 24/7 wouldn’t be easy but had agreed it was what we wanted. Lately, it felt like I was the only one even trying. But that would change tonight.
My new outfit was laid out next to his. I ran my hand over the latex with a sigh. I missed being Cade’s dirty slut. I craved it as much if not more than I enjoyed publicly being the perfect housewife. The sense of self I got from exploring the yin and yang of my dual desires was the ultimate mental edging.
The sound of the door opening was like a gunshot through the house. I scrambled to get into the position he’d chosen for me to meet him with every night, on my knees, presenting. Cade brushed past me without acknowledgement, something that had become too familiar. He was mumbling something about a change of shirt.
Breaking protocol, I spoke, “Sir, I’ve laid out the outfits you selected for tonight on the bed.”
Cade shook his head and walked into our closet. “I’m sorry, love. Something important has come up. We’ll have to reschedule going to the club.”
No! My mind screamed. There was always something more important. I’d tried to be everything he needed. Mold myself into the perfect woman he’d said he wanted but it was never enough to make me a priority.
I tried not to show how hurt I was in my voice. “But, Master–”
“River, there are no buts.” He stepped out of the closet buttoning up his new shirt. “I am your Master. Don’t argue with me. I thought you were better trained than that.”
My chest clenched. I was better trained but a rebellious part of me reminded me that he hadn’t been keeping up his part of our agreement. He not only hadn’t been acknowledging my hard work, but he’d been ignoring me for almost a year. I’d tried to tell him so many times but his only response was empty promises. It took every ounce of strength I had to speak, but I needed to get him to see how much this meant to me.
“Sir. I understand that you are working so hard for the promotion at work. I really do. But, I need this, please could you change your mind?” He didn’t answer me but continued dressing shaking his head as if I had failed him. Cade stepped as if to walk around me and I grabbed his arm. “Sir!”
He shook off my hold. “I don’t have time for your tantrum. Your insolence has been noted, and you will receive a punishment when I come home later.”
No, I wouldn’t. He would come home and forget I existed again. Gathering my courage for the first time in our relationship, I spoke the one word meant to insure he understood I could take no more, my safeword. “Smore!”
He froze and I took advantage of the pause to plead with the man I loved more than my own breath. “Do I mean anything to you? I’ve worked so hard and it’s like you don’t even see me anymore. I need my Master. I need to know that I’m important to you.”
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. His phone beeped and he looked down at it and it was like nothing I said mattered. “I will be home later and we can discuss whatever nonsense you’ve got going on in your head. My boss needs me at work now.”
Firming my spine, I placed a gentle hand on his arm. “If you go without talking to me, then we are over, Cade.” I purposefully used his name for the first time in two years hoping he would understand I wasn’t bluffing.
He snorted. “And I say we’ll talk when I get home. You are my slave, you do not give ultimatums.” Shaking off my hand, he left, slamming the door behind him.
“No, we won’t.”
Four hours later, I’d stood with two suitcases on the porch of Rawhide Ranch begging them to hide me away because I knew if he found me and asked me to come back, I would go and I would lose what little bit of self-respect I had left.
Tears wetmy face just like they did every morning since I’d left. I missed him and the us that we’d been. But if I were ever to stand on my own again, I needed to find out who I was on my own.
Chapter 2
Cade
Packingfor a fun weekend away shouldn’t have been that stressful. When River and I had been together, she would have taken care of all the details. Everything had been better with her at my side. But it had been over a year and I needed to move on. Andy had planned the weekend at Rawhide specifically to force me to get on with my life.
At first, he’d supported me as I looked everywhere for her. We’d all been concerned that she seemed to just vanish off the face of the earth. All my calls turned up nothing. My desperation turned to anger, but no matter who I talked to, the result was the same. No one knew where she’d gone.
One fight and she left without even a note to tell me where she was going. A year without knowing if she was okay or even alive. I’d known walking out that night had been a mistake, but no one deserved to live in this limbo.
Oh, I’d had plenty of time to think about all that went wrong between us. When we’d started dating, she’d understood I was in a stressful position. I was climbing the corporate ladder atmy company toward an upper-management position and didn’t plan on stopping there. Her desire to give over control and serve me had made us the perfect couple.
I would relieve her of the stress of making decisions, and she would give me the control I needed to make it through the struggle of working my way to the top. It had been amazing how I’d come home late and try not to wake her, but every single time, she would spring out of bed to cover me in kisses as she wrapped her slender legs around my hips.
My exhaustion and stress would vanish as I lost myself in River. I always knew she’d taken care of everything at home but I’d still ask her about her day. When she or I needed it, I’d toss her over my lap for an appropriate amount of spanks based on her performance and feedback. Then we’d snuggle and pass out.
