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Andy made a thinking noise. “You’re saying that whatever he needs to discuss can only be done with you. You couldn’t ask your boss to step in if it’s so important? But even so, why would it take days?”
I hadn’t thought about asking my boss. “I thought it was logical since I was going back anyway to handle things at work and come back on the weekend when I could focus on her completely.”
Andy sighed. “All this time I agreed with you Cade. I thought River was too needy and most of what happened between you two was her problem. I even thought her leaving was a good thing. Well, I did until almost a year had passed and you still weren’t over her. It’s why I invited you here to either fix it or at least close the chapter. But now I realize I was wrong.”
“Wrong how, exactly?”
“Quite simply, you’re a dumbass. You are repeating the very same mistake that had you sad and lonely and wondering why she left. I never realized how blind you could be to yourown failings. If you love this woman, then start making smart decisions.”
The urge to punch my friend was very strong. “How is blowing off one of my company’s biggest clients a smart decision?”
“Oh, get over yourself. You are good at what you do, but no one is irreplaceable. If River were hurt or in the hospital what would you do?”
The thought of her injured or sick made my stomach clench. “That is not the same and you know it.”
“Isn’t it? If you don’t stay, you will lose her. Will whatever you discuss be worth that? Is the work you’ll do this week enough to keep you happy for the rest of your lonely life? Take one minute and really think about how you would feel if River had seen you and said, ‘I’m sorry I’d love to see you again but you’ll have to wait until I have free time because you aren’t important enough to reschedule anything’. You need to evaluate your priorities before you lose her for good and decide what’s more important, her or your ego.”
His words hit me like a sledgehammer to the gut. I wanted to deny what he was saying but when I really looked at it, that was exactly what I was doing to her. I’d become so hyperfocused on my career that I was blinded to what was important.
I stood up and placed my empty bottle on the table. “As much as I hate to admit it, you might be right. River should have been more important. Instead of figuring out how to tell her I was leaving, I should have been focused on how not to leave. She is the most important person in my life, but I keep expecting her to be willing to take second place. I need to prove to her that I can keep my word and not only when it’s convenient.”
“That’s the spirit. Now go and find her and pray she’ll take your sorry ass back.”
Unfortunately, finding River turned out to be an impossible task. I rechecked her room and the stables and even climbed the ladder in the barn to check out the hayloft. Then I wondered if maybe she had decided to lose herself in work and went back down to the Dungeons to check but came up empty.
I walked the grounds and everyone I asked was polite but standoffish. Had they already heard about our fight? After a few hours, I had to admit I wasn’t going to find her without help. The sun was just setting when I made my way to Erika’s office and knocked.
“Yes?”
“It’s Cade Knightly. I need to speak with Derek, is he in?”
“One moment, Mr. Knightly,” she said politely before moving across the floor to the door separating her office from the Ranch owner’s. After giving a discreet knock, she disappeared inside.
I waited and tried not to tap my foot in impatience.
“Come on in, Mr. Knightly, Master Derek will see you now,” Erika said upon her return.
I entered her office and walked through the door Erika held open, hearing her close it softly behind me.
“Cade, what can I do for you? Shouldn’t you be spending quality time with your pretty little sub?”
“She left and I can’t find her. I was hoping you could help?”
His scowl was enough to make even me nervous.
“Take a seat and explain what happened.”
I wasn’t used to taking orders but this was his place and I was a guest. If I had any hope of getting River back, it would be with Derek’s help. I swallowed my pride and took a seat.
“I received a call from work and told River I needed to break our date and go back to the city. She didn’t take it well.”
His eyes narrowed, and then he sat up and poured us each a whiskey. He slid mine across the desk. “If that is your plan, then why are you here? Clearly you have chosen work over yourrelationship again. I told you at the beginning, Cade, that this was a temporary arrangement. And conditional to what, do you remember?”
“I know. I’m an idiot. I don’t know why I go into autopilot.”
“Perhaps because you’ve been acting like you’re a ghost instead of a Dom. You’ve been physically present, but mentally absent. Get a grip and start understanding the consequences of your actions.”
That was fair and the longer I sat under his bristling presence, the more I realized what an idiot I was. I didn’t like that feeling one little bit.
