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“Derek, please. I know I fucked up and I want to fix this, can you help me?”
He glanced at the amber liquid in his glass. “The truth is, I don’t know if I want to. River is a special woman and deserves only the best. I thought you’d changed, Cade, but for you to fall back into old habits so easily tells me I might have made a mistake when I sized you up.”
Shit! Shit! Shit!
“I understand and I will commit to whatever you want, if you just help me find her.”
His eyes widened. “Are you saying she is missing? Good grief, man, why didn’t you start with that.” He reached for his phone, but I held up a hand.
“Wait. I only meant that I have been unable to locate her, but I assume she is hiding here somewhere.”
He shook his head, picked up the phone and punched in a number. “Lawson, can you check with your men to see if anyone has left the grounds tonight?”
After a few minutes, Derek nodded his head. “Okay, thanks. If you see River, notify me right away and don’t let her leave, I need to speak with her.”
He hung up the call and glared at me. “You’re lucky she is still here, and may I remind you, under my protection? Now, what guarantees do I have that you will do what it takes?”
“If you rent me a room temporarily, I will stay for as long as it takes.”
Derek leaned back in his chair crossing one booted foot over his opposite knee. “This is the last time I’ll help you, Knightly. You make this work, or you’re out and not only will you be asked to leave, you won’t be coming back… ever. Do you understand?”
There was a lot at stake and I understood, for the first time in forever, what it was like to be the underdog. I could do this, I had to.
“Understood and thank you for the second chance.”
“Third. Cade, this is your third, and quite frankly, I feel it will take a miracle for that woman to take you back. Head to your room and wait for my call. I’ll let you know when I find her.”
“Okay, but I’d like to tell her myself that I never left.”
“Fine. Now get out of my office. I have a broken-hearted sub to find.”
I left and went directly to my room to make a plan.
Chapter 19
River
I’d woken up in strange surroundings. Where was I? The sound of a gentle snore surprised me, so I rolled over and found myself face to face with Carrie. That’s right, since her roommate was out of town, Carrie had offered to cuddle me so I could fall asleep. That memory opened the floodgates and I wished I could fall back asleep and forget.
The swirl of images began with Cade’s guarded expression when I came back with breakfast, and ended with the look of shock on his face when I told him not to bother coming back. The pit those events had opened in my chest cracked like a wound as the events played over in my mind. How could he have made decisions like that without talking to me?
“Hey.”
Carrie’s sleepy voice broke me out of my thoughts. “Hey yourself.” The pity on Carrie’s face made me want to run but I forced myself to smile.
“Feeling any better?”
“A little.” The words were a lie and we both knew it. “I love him and I think he loves me, but I refuse to let myself be treatedlike I’m only important when he doesn’t have work. I hate that I basically gave him an ultimatum.”
“No. You gave him a limit. It’s his choice if he can accept that or not. You did nothing wrong.” She hugged me and I soaked in her support.
“It’s just so hard. I’d given up on us, then he came back and I started to dream about the what ifs. Now I’m having to face the fact that I may not get my happily-ever-after with him.”
“How about you come get some breakfast with me? We can gossip then do some work. I’ll help keep your mind off of him.”
What I wanted to do was sit in my room and wallow for a long time but I knew that wasn’t healthy. My life would go on no matter what happened with Cade, and the sooner I got back to normal, the sooner my heart would accept that. At least that’s what I hoped would happen. My stomach tightened with anxiety.
“That’s a good idea. The work part, not the breakfast part so much.”
