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I can still leave. I haven’t done anything wrong yet.I repeat the mantra to myself.
Still avoiding the drawer, I swivel the chair to look around the office. He has an extensive and eclectic collection of books on his bookshelf—finance books, investing books, books on history, and even some mysteries.
And there’s a photo of him and his brothers on a sailboat. They’re smiling and happy, arms around each other. There’s another photo frame on the bookshelf, face down. With overwhelming curiosity, I walkover to the frame and lift it up. It’s a photo of Jake and Amanda. They are laughing with their heads together. The perfect picture of a couple in love. Did the photo fall down, or did Jake put it down? I hate that they look so happy together.
I walk back over to the desk and sit down again. There’s the drawer, just sitting there so innocently.
Reaching down, I test the handle. Yep, it’s locked.
I take out my keys. I could try them first. I could see if any of them are able to open the drawer.
I feel my insides twist painfully. I have never done anything like this. It’s deceitful, and it is invading Jake’s privacy. He will never trust me again if he finds out.
Maybe I should peek into the planner first. Just to see. He’d never know that I snooped.
I can still leave. I haven’t done anything wrong yet.The mantra keeps playing in my head.
Suddenly, an uncomfortable heat washes over me, and I feel panic unfurling in my belly. My throat begins to get tighter, and breathing gets more difficult. My hands are shaking, and I begin to pant. Taking a breath is becoming harder and harder. My mind is furiously racing with thoughts of what will happen if I break the lock. What if I get caught?
It’s been years since I experienced a panic attack. Even so, I recognize it for what it is. If I don’t leave soon, I’ll be in real trouble. I’m gasping for air as I try to calm myself. The air is wheezing out of me, and getting enough oxygen is nearly impossible.
I have to get out. And I have to get out now!
And that’s exactly what I do. I escape back to the safe haven of my office, the panic receding with each step away from Jake’s desk. Laying my head on my desk, I take deep breaths as I try to calm my racing heart.
I can’t do it. I can’t hurt Jake like that.
I’m devastated for my uncle, and I have to live with the knowledge that I might’ve been able to help him. Tears are threatening, but I won’t let them fall. I’m doing the right thing.
Chapter Twelve
Lana
After yesterday’s close call in his office, it was a relief to find out that Jake would be out of the office again today. In the light of the new day, I realize how lucky I am that I backed out of my insane plan. Had I broken into his desk drawer, the line between right and wrong would have been breached, and there would be no going back.
Jake’s absence again today allows for a short mental reprieve while I figure out my next move. I was supposed to be on this trip with him, but at the last minute, he told me it would be better if I stayed here. He left it unsaid, but the reason he wanted me to stay was obvious. He doesn’t want a repeat of what happened on our last trip. Moonlit outings on the hotel balcony are off the agenda indefinitely.
The office has been too quiet without him here. Though he mostly keeps to himself during the day, we do have occasional interactions, and I find myself missing those times.
At least I have Liz down the hall. True to her word, she hasn’t deserted me after my initial training. She’s been helping me these last couple of days, especially. I’ve been working on an important deal for Jake and ran into a snag. The company I am checking out, Albott, is pushing to close the deal with us in a very short period of time. And some of the numbers aren’t adding up for me. I’m lucky that Liz is willing to help out. She said she’d work on it and get with me next week.
“Hello?” I hear a deep, unfamiliar voice calling out from Jake’s office. A head pops out through the connecting door.
I’ve never seen this man before. I swear that his steel gray-blue eyes pierce right through my soul. More handsome than any man should be, his dark hair is a little too long, and it curls at the collar of his shirt. His broad, muscular chest almost fills the entire doorway. But the captivating boyish look he gives me is what has me staring a little too hard.
His little half smile turns into a full, knowing smile as he watches me check him out, and I realize that he looks very much like someone I know.
“You must be Lana,” he draws out slowly. He casually leans against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and feet crossed at the ankles, head cocked to the side in question.
Holy cow, this guy is full of sex appeal. I bet he could melt hearts with one sultry look.
“And you must be one of Jake’s brothers,” I guess.
“How’d you know?” His eyebrows raise inquiringly at me.
I make a show of inspecting him from head to toe, my eyebrows also raised in appraisal. “Let’s just say that the clues are all there. Are you Dax or Ethan?”
He visibly shakes as he laughs. “Oh, definitely not Ethan,” he jokes. “I’m Dax.”
