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“Does it still hurt?” Jack says, reaching for the glasses from the bar, his voice is full of concern.
“Not really, it’s just a little sore,” I say. He hesitates for a moment before handing me my drink. Maybe he is thinking it’s not a good idea for me to be drinking. I grab it before he thinks twice, and drink it in one go. He chuckles to himself, while watching me place the glass back on the bar – it’s a deep rumble, a sound I want to hear over and over again.
“Can I have another?” I say, needing something to calm my nerves
“Sure, same again?”
“Please. So what happened? Um…all I remember was the guy being a bit too keen, then I lost my balance and hit my head, and when I opened my eyes, I saw you.” My cheeks flush slightly with embarrassment when I remember what I was thinking about him.
“Well from what I saw, he knocked you over, you never lost your balance,” he says as he takes a seat at the bar, gesturing for me to sit next to him. I try to sit gracefully on the bar stool and fail miserably. Being a shorter person, it’s not easy when you have to hop up onto something. I almost slide off the other side, my dress riding up my legs as I try to steady myself, when I feel strong hands on me, one coming to my waist and the other landing on the top of my thigh, holding me, and bringing me back up. But his hands don’t move; the instant I look at him, I know what that deep blue in his eyes means, and I feel it right back – I want him.
His eyes are asking for permission, and I nod and in an instant, he is kissing me, his lips on mine as if he had been waiting to do that for a while. He pulls me off the stool and onto his lap, in one smooth motion, my legs on either side of him. I can feel him beneath me, how hard he is, and wow!
Lifting his lips from mine, he says, “I’ve been thinking about this since last night.” His lips inching closer to mine, “I couldn’t get you out of my head.” His lips brush mine and I feel a sparkof pure energy run from my lips to my core. I take a quick sharp breath, while craving the feeling of his lips on mine again.
“When that guy attacked you last night, I saw red, I moved as quickly as I could but you were already on the floor, so I knocked him out. I’ve seen it happen a hundred times with other people, but I’ve never done that. My security team has always dealt with it….but there is something different about you…” With some confusion on his face, as if he can’t make sense of what was happening to him, he places a tender kiss on my lips. “You taste so good!” His voice sounds drunk on his own need as his hand moves further up my thigh. He starts moving his fingers in small circular motions and I feel pure pleasure shooting through me. A small moan escapes my lips and he kisses me harder, pulling me closer to him. His fingers move under my dress touching me, there, where the heat pools, and another moan leaves my lips just as he presses harder and finds my sweet spot through my panties. He circles it, rubbing it and sending wave after delectable waves of pleasure through me. He kisses me harder, with a hunger that I’ve never felt before – he wants this just as much as I do. He stands, wrapping my legs around his waist and starts moving across the room, holding me in place. We move to another room, his fingers still on me, as he lays me down me on a large sofa, stepping back to look at me like he can’t get enough, devouring me with his eyes like no man has ever before.
“Do you want this to happen? I mean, we can stop.” The look in his eyes tells me he would, if I asked him to. There was no way I was going to pass up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Who would when you have a man like this between your legs?
“I want this, I want you, I don’t know why I…” That’s all it takes, and he is with me, on me, kissing me deeply, like there is nothing else he needs at that moment but to be with me. Moving his hands over my body and sending chills of pleasure through every cell, he slowly unbuttons the front of my dress, revealingthe white lace bra and panties. A deep groan comes from his throat as he traces the edge of my bra with his fingers, lowering his head and licking and teasing my already hard nipples through my bra. I squirm under him, feeling his hot breath on me, wanting him more. When he grazes my nipple with his teeth, I can feel my juices pooling where I want him the most. I have never felt so desired or wanted in my entire life. I close my eyes the pleasure taking over me, as he continues to graze, lick, and suck on my pink cherry-like nipples with his warm mouth. His hand slowly moves down to my stomach, moving along the line of my panties. I quiver in anticipation as his fingers move over them to my sweet spot once again, and move my hips, wanting more. He lowers his head to kiss me, and this time, he nips my lips, making me want him even more. I can feel his hardness on me, so I move my hips to meet his, and he pushes it further into me. “Oh god!” I hear myself crying out, but it doesn’t sound like my voice; I can feel myself building already.
“Open your eyes,” he commands and when I do, I see the raging flame of desire in his ocean-like eyes. I run my hands over his broad, smooth muscular shoulders; not having the words, I nod as his eyes meet mine and he slowly moves panties down my legs and rubs his finger down my wetness. I hear a hiss come from his lips when he slides his finger inside me. “Wow,” I cry out as he moves them in and out of me. I can’t think as the intensity builds with every thrust of fingers. Just then, I feel him add another finger, and I almost lose it. He kisses his way down my body, sucking my nipples and making me scream with pleasure. His tongue leaves a hot trail down my stomach until it finds my spot, licking me up and down, while his fingers work their magic. I explode with the most intense pleasure, my whole body soaking up the release. I feel the pleasure I have never felt before, as wave after wave hits me, as I ride the high of my orgasm. All I hear is, “I’m not finished yet, this time you’rehaving me.”There is no way it can get better than what I have just felt,I think.
I watch him as he takes off his clothes, his ripped body, tanned in the most god-like way. I can see how hard he is as he rubs his hand up and down his length. He reaches for a condom and, in one smooth motion, puts it on. He is on top of me, kissing me harder, and it’s divine. I can taste myself on him, “Are you sure?” he says, looking at me for reassurance with those deep blue ocean-like eyes of his. “Yes,” is all I can manage to say, and his kiss deepens as he positions himself over me, teasing my entrance. I move my hips wanting him; he feels so good already, hot and so big. He enters me slowly, and I can already feel myself building again with how good he feels. He fills me completely, and it’s amazing.
He kisses me deeply, my body reacting to his, my hips move in rhythm with his when he starts thrusting into me. “You feel amazing,” he says, breaking the kiss, “I’m not going to last long,” as he thrusts harder into me. It’s like nothing I have experienced before. I come closer to falling apart again with every thrust, and when he can’t hold it any longer, he thrusts one last time and I’m gone. We come together, and my mind and body want to cry with the pure ecstasy that I feel.
Well, what can I tell you next? We did a few intense, incredible and mind-blowing repeats of that over the next few hours. We talked and did it again and finally drifted off to sleep in his bed after having the best shower of my life. When I woke, I realised I needed to leave; my plane was leaving in a few hours, so I left him there, asleep, looking like the god he was, my hero. I sneaked out the door and took the wildest memories home with me.
That’s when I realised I had changed; I was so different then, twenty-two years old, carefree, living life to the fullest. I loved myself, I loved who I was and who I was going to become.
I had plans…to be honest, it was like having someone smack you in the face. I had let a man change me from who I was, and I loved who I was.
This man who lies next to me, the one I have been in a relationship with for the past five years, has changed me, and not for the better, but for a weaker, more fragile shadow of who I used to be. This was when I knew things had to change; I had to change; I sat there for hours just looking at him, crying silently and thinking about how it had all happened and that I hadn’t noticed the changes in myself, everything he had ever said to me, to make me this pathetic person I had become. There had been no big changes, they all came little by little, the odd comment that would make me think for days on end. I never knew if he was joking or not, and slowly I started to believe everything he said about me. I would never amount to anything; who would want to have someone like me? I was stupid, incapable of doing a simple task properly. He made me step away from my friends because he didn’t like them; they were all immature and needed to grow up if they wanted to have a real relationship like we had. Ha, can you believe I fell for it? Well I did.
Then things changed for the worst, I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to.
I didn’t sleep that night after the dream; how could I have? I knew I had to do something about it, the person I had become, but what? I couldn’t just go, I had nothing.
That’s when I made my list, a list of all the things I wanted, things he told me I could never do, stuff I would never be able to achieve without him.
The trouble was I gained confidence the moment I made that list. It was the best and the worst thing that had ever happened to me. The more I stood up for myself, the angrier he got.
Chapter four
The Final Move
“All done,” I sigh with relief. “Main street gym please.” It’s all falling into place; I didn’t stay long at work, I just dropped my letter off and walked back out again. Everyone looked at me like I was mad, probably wondering why I was walking out when I had only just walked in. I know I didn’t need to print off my resignation letter. I have also emailed a copy to them, just in case they think it’s a joke. I’ve worked there a long time, my second job after I finished uni. I liked it, so I stayed. It was never really the plan, the plan was to move onwards and upwards, but then I met Glen…. and over time, he convinced me that I was just not quite good enough to move up in the world, and it would be best if I stayed where I was. I mean, who would want me… the truth was he never liked it when I made more money than him, and I did, a lot more.
After I left work, we (me and my taxi driver) drove to the gym, where I hid everything from him. I headed in and collected my things from the locker, making sure everything was there. Moving over to the front desk, I asked if I could cancel my membership. I could feel my emotions rising as I told them wasmoving away, and won’t be able to use it anymore. This place had been sort of my safe haven, a place I was able to come and be myself. I never worked out, just did a few classes, mainly yoga or pilates, or sat in the sauna. A place I could hide for an hour before heading home, to him questioning where I was and who I was with. I would always get changed there even if I was just going to sit in the locker room, but it’s just something else I won’t need now, something else I am removing from my life. But now… now I’m off to start the life I should have had. Or to try and be the person I once was, or maybe the person I should have been, if I had taken a different path,Uhh, I have no idea really, I’m just going to have to take each day as it comes, see where I end up, and hope it works out.
I never planned where I was going to live, or stay for that matter. I have a small amount of money saved, which will get me by for a while, but after that…oh man, I hope things work out. Letting out a breath, I think I have been holding for a while, the last stop now as I get back into the taxi.
“To the train station please.”
As I enter the train station, I realise what I am doing all over again. It has taken me almost eight months to get to this point, it’s been hard being excited about what I was doing and not being able to show it. When I did start to stick up for myself, things just got so much worse for me, so much so that my heart would always have a barrier around it. I’m not sure I would ever be able to let anyone in again, not after what he has done.
Get yourself together,I say, shaking off the feelings that keep trying to rise within me as I walk over to the coffee shop; I need to decide on where I want to go.
