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I take out my list when I sit at the table and ponder over the first two…
Get away from him
Go somewhere he nor you has never been before
I have absolutely no idea, I look up at the boards in front of me, telling me what trains there are, but even then it confuses me. So I start looking at the map on my phone. Where would I like to go? A new city? No, I need something different. A country village? Nope, I’m not sure I want to do that alone, then I need something that fits in the middle. I have always liked the seaside, there is something calming about it… and we never went together. I know he doesn’t like the sea.
“Decision made!” I say out loud with a small smile, I just need to figure out where, so I spend the next thirty minutes looking at seaside towns, and I come across one on the south coast. It looks beautiful, just the right amount of everything, so I book my ticket, and head to the platform. It’s over three hours away, but that works well for me.
Three hours and forty minutes later, I arrive at the most beautiful seaside town I think I have ever seen. I step out of the train station and I am immediately hit by the smell of clean air, and I let it fill my lungs. I stand soaking it up for a few seconds. I can see shops, restaurants and offices as I start walking toward the letting agents I googled on the train. It’s really beautiful, even on a day like today when the weather matches my mood – overcast and threatening to rain, not a bad day for mid-April.
You can see the sea from almost everywhere you turn. It helps that the town is on the top of a hill, with one main street down the centre lined with boutique shops, florists, cafes, restaurants and loads more I can’t wait to discover.
Looking at the map on my phone, I can see that I’m almost there. It’s not on the main high street, it’s a few roads back, butI don’t mind the walk after being sat on the train for the last few hours. I’m not holding my breath about what I will be able to get; I don’t have much money, only what I have managed to save. I also don’t have a job, which is not ideal, but I will take what I can get. When I open the door to the letting agents, a bell dings and two faces look up at me – one guy goes to get up, when a stunning tall, blonde girl tells him to sit down and she comes over to me.
“Hi, I’m Emma, how can I help you?” She has the brightest smile.
“Hi,” I say, “I’m looking to rent a place immediately. Do you have anything?”
“Come and sit down and I’ll take a look at what we have,” she points to her desk and I wheel my case over and sit down on the plush seat she has in front of her desk.
“Comfy,” I sat with a smile.
“Good, can I get you a drink?” she offers.
“Yes please, I’ve not had one since I left. It’s been a while. Coffee please”
“Sure, Andy? Will you make our customer a coffee please? Where have you come from?” Emma asks while she does something on her laptop.
I look over at Andy when he sighs and stands up. He looks at me like he can’t be bothered and heads out the back.
“Sorry, you will have to excuse him, he has no manners, and doesn’t want to be here, he retires in a few months,” she chuckles.
I like her, she seems nice and puts me at ease. Luckily she forgets that she asked a question. I don’t want anyone to know where I’ve come from.
“Okay, I have a few, but I need to know a few more things before we can go ahead,” she says, looking at me.
We spend the next few minutes going over the details, and she comes up with a few places that she says we can view today, but as I don’t have a job, they will have to take a bigger deposit, which is fine, and what I expected.
“Most of them are one-bedroom apartments, but when I say apartment, they are tiny… and not in a great part of the town,’’ she says with a sad sort of smile, giving me the bad news.
“I don’t care, as long as it’s available and I can afford it, it will be good for me,” I say and she looks at me, wanting to ask more questions, but she stops herself.
“How far away are they? I don’t have a car, but I can walk and meet you there?”
“Don’t be silly, we can go together, the first viewing is in about twenty minutes.”
Andy walks in and hands me my coffee, I won’t have time to drink it now but I say, “thank you” anyway. Emma rolls her eyes and I giggle, shocking myself. I don’t remember the last time I giggled, and then it hits me all over again why I’m here, what he did. And I have to force back the fear, and the tears that threaten to come.
“Are you okay?” Emma asks, and I see the confusion on her face. I realise she is looking at me properly for the first time, and I hope she can’t see what I’m trying my hardest to hide.
