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“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. His shoulders eased, and he leaned his head back and smiled. With the sun on his face, he appeared calmer. How long had he worried about searching for his mum? “I’ve been thinking about my dad as well. He deserves to be happy. I don’t know if he’s had a girlfriend in the last ten years, but if he has, I haven’t met them.”
“Can you imagine him trying to sneak them out of the house before you got up?”
“I’d have heard something, as my bedroom is next to the front door. My dad isn’t quiet about anything. When he goes to the loo in the night, he trips over three things and swears each time.” Chris laughed. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he hadn’t dated because he was trying to protect me or something. Maybe he’s still in love with Mum. Love does silly things to people.”
He glanced at her then and swallowed. His bobbing Adam’s apple brought a shiver to her shoulders. She wetted her lips, and his gaze dropped to them. It was like the moment in the trees after adventure golf. Did he want to kiss her? But Emma said he was with her because he was bored, and Emma wouldn’t have said that unless she meant it.
Lucie faced away from him and quickly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand in case there was chocolate residue on it. As she turned back, she sneaked a look at her hand. No chocolate. She felt sicker than a five-year-old who’d eaten an ice cream sundae the size of his head, and yet she wanted him to kiss her.
Chris cleared his throat, but his words faltered, and he stared into the distance. Maybe he’d changed his mind about kissing her after she wiped her mouth like that. His gorgeous ex-girlfriend wouldn’t have done that. “Anyway, it’s always been Dad and me, but he should try dating again. I’d like for him to meet someone. He has a lot of love.”
“You must have been lonely when you were growing up. I’m lucky to have Emma. I couldn’t ask for a better sister.” Emma, or as their favourite teacher called her, “the school’s firecracker,” burst into Lucie’s bedroom every morning to perform breakdancing or body-popping while wearing her pyjama dungarees design. Usually, Lucie insisted on knowing where Emma intended to be in case of an anxiety attack, but she hadn’t dared wake her that morning. Would she be angry if she found out Lucie was spending time with Chris? Emma always stood by her side, but Lucie’s conversation with her parents andEmma’s remarks the night before continued to weigh heavily on her mind.
“Yeah, a bit lonely. I’ve never talked to someone like this before, but you make it so easy,” Chris said, his dimples showing.
Lucie flicked her bangs out of her eyes. “Sorry for judging you earlier. Everyone keeps warning me away from you, and they say—”
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
“But—”
“Lucie,” he interjected. “Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve had this reputation. When I was younger, I’d get into trouble for being too loud in class or answering back when I was meant to be listening. And then when I got to secondary school, I challenged the wrong teacher, and he made my life a sodding nightmare. Maybe now I’d keep quiet, but then it just made me worse.”
“But surely the teacher didn’t start the rumours?”
“Nah, but it added to the reputation, and I kind of embraced it for a while. I liked how it made people want to be my friend. But they weren’t always my friend. When I was about fourteen, fifteen, there was one group who’d dare me to do silly things so they could laugh at me and get me into trouble. A lot of the shit now comes from those days. Dad gave me a talking to, and that helped me sort some stuff out, but the rumours continued and got worse. Like I’m not perfect now and I do crazy stuff.”
“Like at the party?”
Chris laughed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like that. Like I have this crazy energy to do stupid shit, and I don’t always think through it, but having fun is okay. I just wish a teacher at school gave me a chance, but instead they all presumed I was trouble, and it was easier to prove them right even when I was trying not to.”
“You’re not trouble, Chris. You’re amazing.” Did she really say that? She changed the subject quickly so he couldn’t reply to hercompliment. “I’m sorry about your dad. Maybe when you go to university, he will go on dates.”
“He’ll be able to bring them home then too.” He laughed, although his cheeks carried a pinkish tint too. “Nope, I’m not going there.”
“Oh god, I don’t want to imagine my parents having sex. When I was at primary school, I thought the fact they had two children meant they’d had it two whole times. I can’t believe I thought that. I’m glad I’ve never heard them do it.”
“You probably have, but you don’t know it.” Chris laughed. His eyes sparkled.
Lucie scrunched her face. “Don’t be so gross.”
Sex was never going to happen for her. She hadn’t even kissed a guy. Lucie had tried to talk to Emma about technique and that moment when you knew what to do. Emma said that it was easy once you were doing it. But if Lucie couldn’t kiss, then she couldn’t have sex. The thought of being naked in front of someone she fancied made her want to vomit. She hated seeing herself without clothes in the mirror. How could she let anyone else look at her that way?
“Okay, okay. But like, sex is normal.” Chris’s brow furrowed. “I’m guessing you’ve never done it?” It wasn’t an accusation. He said it casually. People at school made fun of her and how inexperienced she was. How could she be sure Chris was different?
Her heartbeat ramped up, and nausea replaced the butterflies in her stomach. She avoided eye contact, choosing to kick at her bike pedals repeatedly instead. Should she tell him that she’d never kissed anyone? He’d probably laugh. She’d bet there weren’t any other seventeen-year-olds that hadn’t had their first proper kiss.
Eighteen tomorrow.
It was mortifying.
“Nah, I’ve never had a boyfriend. Well, not since primary school,” she said. She should cycle away and not look back, but even bunched up on his old bike, Chris would catch her.
“Oh, like never, never?” he shouted before quickly trying to cover it up. “I mean, sure. Lots of people don’t like to commit and go on dates instead.”
If only. No one wanted to date her, and she was probably the only virgin he’d met. How many times would she need to kick her pedal to break her ankle? Then he’d have to take her to the holiday village medic, and he’d forget about her virginity. How many girls had he slept with? Was he joking about the bj rumour yesterday, or had he done that?
His next words surprised her. “Too many people reckon sex is something to tick off a list. But it’s not. It’s something to enjoy.”
