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“Our dads were very different,” Chris replied. The conversation lulled into a comfortable silence as they considered the differences between the two men. It wasn’t just how they treated their children but in their whole perspective of the world. Thankfully, through Chris, a little of his dad’s attitude had rubbed off on her. Lucie took a long sip of her drink and remembered confronting her dad about the art degree.
“That reminds me, I haven’t told you where I’m going today,” Chris exclaimed, wrenching her from her memories.
Lucie ran her thumb over her tattoo and masked her fears that he was on his way to a significant date. She had no right to hope, especially as she was here to dump Bradley, but she manifested anyway, because the hope that she might have a chance with him brought tingles to her neck and set her heartbeat off on a frantic pace. She hadn’t felt like this since… She riffled through her ex-boyfriends, crushes, and significant dates. Each of themhad their negatives and their positives, some more than others, but there wasn’t anyone that sprung to mind. She hadn’t had butterflies flapping in her belly or the desperate urge to smile even though no one had told a joke. The last time she’d truly felt those things was during the weekend she spent with Chris. Maybe it was because he was her first love. But what if it wasn’t?
She held her breath, anticipating bad news.
“I’ve got to get a train to Manchester in thirty minutes because—” He paused dramatically, and she counted to ten to stop herself from reaching over the table and shouting at him to get on with it. “You’ll never guess this. It’s ludicrous based on eight years ago. But I’m off to Manchester because my dad is getting married!”
She exclaimed a laugh, although it was more from relief than the news of a wedding. She gulped a deep breath and took her time in formulating a more appropriate response. “Your permanently single dad is getting married? That’s the best news ever. Do you like her? How did they meet? You have to tell me everything.”
He leaned closer. Lucie was both relieved and disappointed he didn’t smell like Lynx anymore. It wouldn’t be appropriate for a man his age, but she missed the response that came with the smell. Even now, when she caught a whiff, which was usually when she was in the local shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon, her belly would flutter and her heart beat a little faster. She always turned to check if it was Chris, which, of course, it never was. It was difficult to hide her disappointment from being confronted by a pimply-faced teenage boy with tight jeans and a bizarre hair quiff. Chris never looked like that, thank God.
Chris’s excitement was palpable, and she recognised the teenager she met in the forest who was vulnerable, caring, and funny. The hope that she might have a chance with him broughttingles to her skin. Seeing this version of him reminded her of the happiness that lived in her long after that weekend. Lucie gulped a deep breath.
“He’s marrying the mum of one of my students. It’s sweet and yet kind of awkward how they met. A couple of years ago at the school where I teach, I directed a musical comedy version ofRomeo and Juliet—don’t ask. It wasn’t my idea.”
Lucie giggled. Talking animatedly with extra winks and dramatic hands was the Chris she remembered.
“Anyway, Dad volunteered to come and stay for a month and take charge of construction on the set. Before he arrived, the students were using cardboard scenery, but Romeo thought it would be funny to start a water fight on stage, and that was the end of that. Sarah, the mum of the student playing Juliet, also offered to help. At first, Dad and Sarah argued a lot.”
“That doesn’t sound like your dad. I thought he was chilled out,” Lucie replied.
“That’s true. To be fair, my dad sat and worked away, and she argued with him. He was oblivious to her worries and focused on his work. It’s continued to be one of his adorable yet frustrating traits. One evening Dad hammered his thumb, and although he was very blasé about it, Sarah took him to the hospital. The next day he brought her in some cupcakes he’d made, and love blossomed from there.”
“Wow, so you had a real-life Romeo and Juliet, but without the depressing ending. That is perfect.” Lucie imagined the scenario and sighed happily.
“It was the one positive thing to come out of that whole show.” Chris’s laugh was infectious. “There was another injury. One student had their first ride in an ambulance on opening night when the fight scene got out of hand. Mercutio was getting off with Tybalt’s girlfriend in the wings while Tybalt was on stage. It all kicked off, and instead of a humorous Charleston fight scene,we had blood everywhere from a broken nose while several parents wailed about their ‘poor little’ seventeen-year-old lads, the same lads who were lamping each other with more vigour than I’d seen from them during any rehearsal. The headteacher hasn’t asked me to direct any more shows since.”
“I can’t imagine why,” Lucie joked.
He shrugged, but his eyes twinkled, and his smile showed his dimples. “Anyway, Sarah is the best thing to happen to Dad. She has brought out of him this happiness I’ve never seen before. He was always lovely, but now he doesn’t care if he makes a fool of himself because if it makes her laugh, then it’s worth it. He’s great with Annie, Sarah’s daughter. She’s now at university. Dad and Sarah moved to Manchester a year ago, and now they’re getting married there too.”
“That’s amazing. I’m so happy he found love after everything your parents went through,” Lucie said with a wistful smile.
“All the demons that he had after Mum left have gone. There was a lot of fear and mistrust bundled up in his relationship with Mum. It wasn’t all Mum’s fault. They were too young, and Mum didn’t have the right support.”
“How do you know? Did he finally talk about her?”
“I searched for Mum,” he replied quietly. Lucie held her tongue and gave him space to talk. “One weekend, I decided to find out everything. I received cards every birthday from my grandma, so I started with her. I met with Gran, a woman I hadn’t seen since Mum left, and she told me some of it. Mum and Dad met on the night of Mum’s eighteenth birthday. Mum was at college, and Dad was a bouncer at the local club. Mum’s dad recently died, and instead of working through her grief like everyone was trying to make her do, she started a relationship with a guy who she decided would make everything better.”
“Your dad?”
“Yeah,” Chris replied, fiddling with the flyer for a local club that someone had discarded on the table. “The problem is that Mum had mental health problems that escalated after her dad died. But she refused help for them too. She believed my dad could be her hero, but that wasn’t what she needed. Within six months, she was pregnant with me—again, not what she needed, but you can’t blame either of them. She was young and not the first to believe a baby would solve her problems. She developed depression and then other stuff after that, including panic attacks. Mum didn’t have any help and avoided her family. She sunk deeper into depression. She had good days, those I remember fondly, but other days she couldn’t get out of bed.”
“Like that time you busted your nose?” Lucie cut in.
“You remembered that?”
“Of course,” she replied. She remembered everything Chris said that weekend.
“Yeah, that was one of her bad days. Dad didn’t know what to do, and he had no experience of mental health issues. People didn’t talk about it as much as they do now. They argued a lot, more than I knew. They’d no clue how to bring up a child, let alone deal with anything they were going through. Then, one day, Mum decided that she needed help and that without it, she was making things worse. She was so scared. She loved me so much and was scared that she would have a dangerous panic attack when driving or something. It wasn’t like that, and I was never at risk, but those were her fears. So she left.” Chris lifted his head, and Lucie took his hand in her spare one. There were tears in his eyes, but he didn’t wipe them away or get embarrassed. “Mum never stopped loving me.”
“Of course not. It was lovely that your grandma filled in those gaps for you,” Lucie said, squeezing his hands. “I’m so glad you were able to learn about her from your gran. Did she give you photos?”
“I got better than that. I met my mum,” he replied. He smiled even as a tear slipped down his face onto his shirt. “She works at a centre in London for people with depression. She trained as a counsellor, and now she helps people because that was how she worked stuff out for herself, and she wanted to give back. Mum carried the guilt of leaving and not returning for years. Occasionally she’d find her way to town and watch Dad pick me up from school or, a couple of years later, see me exit the gates with friends and considered saying hello, but she was scared of how that would impact me.”
“I can’t believe it. Your poor mum must have gone through so much, and yet she used that to help others. You’re definitely her son.” Lucie wiped the remaining tears from his eyes with her thumbs before holding one of his hands again.
