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‘You should do something with all this, though! If it could help your dad’s company, and do some good in the world …’
‘What? What can I do, that’ll actually make him sit down and listen and understand I’m not trying to sabotage his life’s work? Round up all the Arrowmile teams and telltheminstead, hope they can make him listen?’
‘Actually … Actually, Fletcher, that might not be such a bad idea.’
He snorts, giving me a sardonic smile. ‘It’s a nice thought, but not gonna happen. He’d find out and shut the whole thing down before I got chance.’
‘Maybe. But … I think I’ve got a way to help.’
We stick around for a while after finishing breakfast, sharing a pot of tea and talking the plan through, Lloyd telling me a little more about some of the parts of his research he’s most excited about. They’re always the geeky, science-y ones from work going on in the labs, but he’s patient as he explains it all in terms that I can understand.
‘Thanks,’ he tells me quietly, ‘for helping me with all of this.’
‘Thanks for telling me about all of this,’ I reply, nodding towards the file. ‘And – and like I tried to say before, I reallyamsorry about the way I’ve been treating you. And all this stuff with your dad, and the company – I never really realized how tough it must be for you.’
Lloyd shrugs, shuffling in his seat. ‘It’s okay. It’s not like I let on, I guess. I know that makesmekind of a hypocrite – like you said, I was mad at you for not letting me in, when I was busy keeping you out, too, but …’ Then his eyes dart up to mine, and he cringes. ‘As long as we’re apologizing, I’m sorry I called you a hypocrite.’
‘It’s okay. I didn’t … I really didn’t mean to have a go at you. I was just trying to explain I’d never lied to you about who my mum was, that it wasn’t like it looked. And I don’t expect you to forgive me, but … I’d like it if we can be friends again, maybe? I’m still here for another few weeks, so, it’s just … I mean, I don’t want things to be awkward, and Idolike spending time with you, and –’
‘Annalise,’ he says softly, and flashes me the quicksilver smile that’s held a place in my heart since the first night we met. ‘I forgive you. Friends, yeah?’
‘Yeah.’
I smile at him, happy – relieved.
Even if I shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss my connection with Lloyd or shut down the possibility of anything romantic going on between us so I could focus one hundred per cent on the internship, it doesn’t change the fact that there’s only three weeks to go until this is over, and then I’ll pack up and move back home.And come October, we’ll both be at uni, in different cities, and didn’t last year already prove to me that I couldn’t manage to studyandmaintain a long-distance relationship? Or probablyanyrelationship?
This summer was always a finite stretch of time. It was always going to be this self-contained little pocket.
So there still can’t be anything between me and Lloyd; it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. And Lloyd deserves better.
Friends, though. Friends, I’ll happily take.
Because I can’t lose him. Even if we can’t be together, I can’t lose what I have with Lloyd completely.
My phone buzzes on the table, for like the twentieth time. Lloyd eyes it with an amused smile.
‘Again? Someone’s popular. Or is there some gossip going off in the group chat?’
I turn my phone screen-up to check; I’d silenced it and turned it face-down to talk to Lloyd properly.
‘It’s just my mum.’ I snap the screen off again.
‘Oh. What does she want? Lunch, again?’
‘Um …’ Suddenly awkward, I feel my cheeks beginning to heat. ‘She wanted to wish me happy birthday.’
I glance up in time to see Lloyd’s jaw drop, the sympathy over my tricky relationship with Mumreplaced instantly by a blank expression, and then again by guilt.
‘Annalise! You should’ve told me!’
‘It’s not a big deal. I don’t normally make a fuss about my birthday anyway. And,’ I joke, ‘I didn’t get much chance, what with you demanding I hand over your Top Secret Project file.’
Lloyd laughs. ‘Yeah, that’s fair. Sorry for highjacking your birthday. And, obviously, happy birthday.’
‘Thanks. And that’s okay. I didn’t really have plans this morning anyway, beyond FaceTiming my dad and everyone at some point. A bunch of us are going out for dinner tonight though, and Izzy’s making a cake. You could – I mean, you could … join us, if you like. And Will. I’m sure nobody would mind.’
Surprise colours his face, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline.
