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“He looked for him for years, you know.”
I turn around and see Maverick leaning against the doorframe.
“He hired a PI and everything. It was a mess of look-a-likes and people looking for their fifteen minutes. It was incredibly painful for him. We eventually forced him to stop,” Mav says, hands in his pockets and looking at his feet. I know if I could see his eyes, all I would see is pain.
“It’s cruel, the way the world keeps spinning. It doesn’tcare if you’re hurting or hoping. It just keeps going and the best we can do is move with it,” Willa says, before returning to her packing.
I glance over to Maverick and see the torment in his eyes. I each out and squeeze his hand. Then we silently help Willa pack up her room and make our way over to the venue.
thirteen
KAI
It’slike she never left and my stupid heart loves that. The warmth in my chest as I watch her play right along with us is unwelcome. I don’t want to feel like this. Keeping her at a distance was supposed to be how I survived this tour. So far, I’ve fucked that up more than I ever thought possible. I need to protect myself from her, or I won’t survive when she leaves again.
But deep down, I know I can’t protect my heart from her. It was never mine to protect. It was hers. From the moment we met, my heart was hers.
Unfortunately, her heart was never mine. So I walk around a shell of myself. My heart in the hands of another, and my brain held together with bubblegum and duct tape.
“What do you think?” Belle asks after the notes of our final song fade away. I have to admit, she’s just as good as she ever was. The notes she took last night were more detailed than I expected, and she fit her parts in each song seamlessly. I never doubted her talent, but I thought she would have some cobwebs to work out.
“That was so good! You’re going to kill it tonight!” Cal yells directly into the microphone, causing the workers milling about the stadium to flinch. “Oops. My bad. Sorry, guys!”
“I’m not playing tonight, Cal. I’m nowhere near ready for that,” Belle says, blushing slightly. And what that blush does to my fucking emotions… fuck.
Cal pouts. He’s been so happy having her with us. You’d think he was suddenly a puppy that was given a special treat.
“Can we do one more go through ofPurple Pleasurebefore we’re done?” Willa asks. That’s not only the worst song, but it’s also the one Belle added the most complicated part to. Mav wrote it while drunk a few years ago. It’s about a giant purple dildo he said a hookup tried to use on him.
Willa claps her sticks together and starts the song before anyone even answers. We play it through with no mistakes. Nothing new there. I look over and see Willa grinning like an idiot, and I suddenly feel like I’m being left out of the joke.
“What?” Cal and Mav ask her at the same time. I look over and see Belle roll her eyes.
“I get it, Willa. I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Get what? Care to share with the class?” I ask, but I realize what’s happening right after I ask. “You had her play the most complicated song that happens to be in the middle of the set, that she’s only played once with us.”
“Correct,” Will says smugly.
“And she nailed it,” I state.
“Correct. You get an A plus, Kai!” Willa says sarcastically.
“Honestly, unless you fuck up “Shattered Dreams,” no one will even know. That’s the only song with keyboardsthat people have heard from us,” Maverick adds. I look over at Cal and see him practically vibrating.
“I guess I —”
She doesn’t even get to finish her sentence before Cal is hugging her.
I bow my head and walk offstage. I don’t want to ruin their sibling moment, and I’m genuinely happy that Cal gets this. But I’m jealous that I never will and terrified it won’t last.
“You know, she might stay if you stop acting like a fuck hole.”
I turn around to see Willa staring at me with that look that makes my brain itch. I swear she’s walking around in there, reading my every thought.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I tell her, trying to walk away, but she gets in front of me.
“I’ve been stuck with your broody ass for literal years. I know how hurt you were when she left the band. Now she’s back and you’re worried she’ll leave again.”
